TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
#0TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 7/25/06 at 5:08am
A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout looking hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker, "How much do you charge?"
Hooker replies, "It starts at $500 for a hand-job. Guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job! No hand-job is worth that kind of money!"
The hooker says, "Do you see that Denny's on the corner?"
"Yes."
"Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?"
"Yes."
"And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?"
"Yes."
"Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own those. And, I own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500."
Guy says, "What the hell? You only live once. I'll give it a try."
They retire to a nearby motel.
A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500. He is so amazed, he says, "I suppose oral sex is $1,000?"
The hooker replies, "$1,500."
I wouldn't pay that for oral sex!"
The hooker replies, "Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright. And I own it because I give oral sex that's worth every cent of $1,500."
The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, decides to put off the new car for another year or so, and says, "Sign me up."
Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money's worth. He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience. He asks the hooker, "How much for some p*ssy?"
The hooker says, "Come over here to the window, I want to show you something. Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and showplaces?"
"Damn!" the guy says, in awe, "You own the whole city?"
"No," the hooker replies, "but I would if I had a p*ssy".
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
#1re: TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 7/25/06 at 5:11amOMG... time to go to bed if you're already posting the chuckle...
Celebrate Life
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. - Randy Pausch
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. - Randy Pausch
ashley0139
Broadway Legend Joined: 1/3/05
#2re: TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 7/25/06 at 8:00amI didn't see that coming! Haha!
"This table, he is over one hundred years old. If I could, I would take an old gramophone needle and run it along the surface of the wood. To hear the music of the voices. All that was said." - Doug Wright, I Am My Own Wife
#3re: TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 7/25/06 at 10:13amBoy, am I glad I had already put my coffeedown!
"All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."
Conan O'Brien
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/31/69
#5re: TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 7/25/06 at 3:18pm
"come on, give mamma a kiss!"
Great joke, boobs!
#6re: TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 7/25/06 at 4:15pmThank God I wasn't drinking while I read that one! Nice one Boobs!
"You know, with the right volume, Patti LuPone can make a car bounce, too...."
-Wonderwaiter
#7re: TUESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 7/25/06 at 9:42pmInstant classic! I worship the ground you walk on!!
"NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!"
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