Telemarketers

#1

Telemarketers

Posted: 10/4/04 at 9:34pm

Ok with the new do-not-call list telemarketers are few and far between. But it was so much fun to mess with them when they called. Any amusing responses you've given them?

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"I'm a cuber, I'm a cuber, I'm a cuber, I'm a cuber, I'm a cuber, I'm a cuber. Please don't take me to the pickle farm."- Brak

#2

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/4/04 at 9:36pm

I told one to "get a real job." I had heard my mom say they once before; despite that, she yelled at me, and explained the only reason she said it was because the same company kept calling back when she told them not to.

I know, that's mean, but hey, I thought I was being funny at the time.

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"We like to snark around here. Sometimes we actually talk about theater...but we try not to let that get in our way." - dramamama611

Updated On: 10/4/04 at 09:36 PM

#3

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/4/04 at 9:41pm

I had a job as a telemarketer for a non profit org. once. We called ONLY people who asked to be called and still got the nastiest people. It's a tough job.

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"Noah, someday we'll talk again. But there's things we'll never say. That sorrow deep inside you. It inside me, too. And it never go away. You be okay. You'll learn how to lose things..."

#4

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/4/04 at 9:46pm

I usually don't pick up, because I hate having to hang up on people. They usually don't buy the "I'm 13" response either.

#5

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/4/04 at 9:55pm

IF you can tell it's a telemarketer by the caller id, answer the phone and say "Fred's funeral and steak house. Our meat is always fresh."

#6

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/4/04 at 10:00pm

If it's a telemarketer, tell them that Mr. So and So no longer lives there. They will remove you from their list. By doing that, they'll just put you on "Call Again".
So, while it may be fun to be mean to them, it only gets you more calls.

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"Noah, someday we'll talk again. But there's things we'll never say. That sorrow deep inside you. It inside me, too. And it never go away. You be okay. You'll learn how to lose things..."

#7

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/4/04 at 10:02pm

Thats what I do Matt. It works.

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HUSSY POWER! ------ HUSSY POWER!

#8

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/4/04 at 10:03pm

Ok, lol, idk if the rule still applies or not, but I had read somewhere that telemarketers aren't allowed to hang up until the person they called hangs up. So...the next time one called I said "Sure!! Just one sec. i'll get him!" And i set the phone down for about 15 mins. I went back and said "U still there" and he said "yes" and i said "ok just one more second" and waited for TWENTY MINS!!! Then I came back and said "Sorry, he just left for the store...he'll be back in 15 mins" and I set the phone down. Waiting 15 mins, and said "Sorry, he stopped at his friend's house, he won't be home till later, call back!" *click* haha. I found out it was true that they can't hang up! That was great fun.

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~*~Fairytales do come true~*~ Keala Settle: Aloha, Sistah! It's all good...<3<3<3

#9

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/4/04 at 10:06pm

No, they can hang up whenever they want.

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"Noah, someday we'll talk again. But there's things we'll never say. That sorrow deep inside you. It inside me, too. And it never go away. You be okay. You'll learn how to lose things..."

#10

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/4/04 at 10:11pm

There was once an episode of Seinfeld where Jerry anwers the phobne and it is a telemarketer. He asks the telemarketer for his home phone number so he can call him at home when he is eating dinner. I love messing with telemarketers. It is better than sex and chocolate. .......almost!

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"Friends are the people you chose as family."....Me.

#11

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/4/04 at 10:16pm

My friend's mom was a telemarketer for a newspaper that had just fired their editor to try to improve their reputation. She had a very funny conversation one day that went like this.
Telemarketer: Hello, would you like to buy the "some newspaper Times"
Man: No thank you
Telemarketer: We have a brand new offer right now.
Man: No, I really DON'T want to buy it.
Telemarketer: We're an entirely different paper.
Man: I've heard that
Telemarketer: We have new management and a new editor.
Man: I know. I'm the OLD editor.

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Keep the peace, take care of each other, and may you find your promised land. -TJST

#12

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/4/04 at 10:21pm

oh my gosh that is so funny!!!


i had the newspaper call my place once before for the same reasons... when i was away at college living in a house with my 3 friends. they asked if the head of the household was home, but since none of us were the head of the household, i said no and then hung up. they did call back a few days later asking if mr stevens was home (he was my landlord) and i said he didn't live there... so they didnt call back at all after that. hey, i didnt lie and i wasnt mean at all!

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::bust a move::

#13

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/4/04 at 11:14pm

I've never been rude to one, and probably will never be because I know great people who are/have been telemarketers. I always tell my sisters to be nice to them, usually my older sister will create an elaborate story to annoy them.

Such nice siblings lol.

#14

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/4/04 at 11:18pm

I like talking to them, for the most part. I have fun (which is horrible) with them. I used to distort the wires and scream "I can't hear you anymore, call me back in two minutes!" It killed me that some people actually called me back.

I got this GREAT call last week, I picked up the phone and heard "Do you agree with gay marriage?" And I heard about this call before...so I said "Yes but listen to me, if you think that you have got another thing coming and you're trying to convince me to vote for John Kerr-"

"If you do, please press 1." I slammed the phone down.

What happened with telemarketers that you could actually talk to?

#15

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/5/04 at 12:06am

I feel bad for the people in this job, so I generally just tell them "No thanks" and hang up. No need to take out your frustrations on them.

#16

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/5/04 at 12:07am

By saying "No thanks" you are put back in the pool for future solicitations. Either ask to be put on their "Do Not Call" list or say "Wrong Number".

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"Noah, someday we'll talk again. But there's things we'll never say. That sorrow deep inside you. It inside me, too. And it never go away. You be okay. You'll learn how to lose things..."

#17

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/5/04 at 12:12am

A simple, "Please don't call me again." does wonders.

And an observation - You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat telemarketers, grocery clerks, waitstaff, janitors, etc.

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Rest in peace, Iflitifloat.

#18

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/5/04 at 12:12am

*shrug*

I was a kid. I just wanted to be polite. Nowadays we're on the DNC list.

#19

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/5/04 at 12:16am

Growing up, my mother always taught me to show the most respect for secretaries, waitstaff, janitors, etc. She taught me they were the ones with all the real power.

Words to live by.

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"Noah, someday we'll talk again. But there's things we'll never say. That sorrow deep inside you. It inside me, too. And it never go away. You be okay. You'll learn how to lose things..."

#20

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/5/04 at 12:16am

I worked briefly for a local newspaper as a telemarketer. You know, I was the one calling people saying, "Would you like to take the paper?"
One night I got this guy that was having the worst day of his life and I was THE last straw for him. He let out a string of words, some of which I'd never heard before!! He went on for an eternity and then ended with something like, "Do you get that you %$&*#^!!!

I paused for a moment and then said, "umm...I'm sorry sir....I don't understand. Does this mean you DON'T want the paper?"

Then I hung up on him.

#21

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/5/04 at 12:49am

I always pretend like I know them and say things like:

"Melissa, I know stop kidding I know it's you!"
"Why are you pretending that you work for telemarketing?"
"Y'all...come listen....Melissa pretending like all she can do is telemarketing!"
"Okay, that's enought Melissa, we know you would get a better job..."
"Melissa...stop pretending like you have no life!!"

#22

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/5/04 at 11:18am

Screwing around with telemarketers is like tripping a waitress. They are just doing their job. Do you think there are many people who WANT to be telemarketers? I agree with Matt_G's advice. Do your best to get off the list, politely... and you will win in the long run.

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Hamlet's father.

#23

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/5/04 at 11:25am

Normaly I just say no thank you and please remove me from your call list. But on days when i am feeling just a little cheeky I'll answer them in Welsh. This always gets a great response.

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"All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen." Conan O'Brien

#24

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/5/04 at 11:51am

This summer I worked for Atlantic Research, doing telephone surveys. It's not exactly telemarketing but it's close.

People thought they were riotously funny when they said THEY were too busy at the moment, and could they please have my home phone number so they could call me back when they had time. I knew this was their idea of a joke so I topped them and gave them the phone number of the local dial-a-prayer. If any of them actually called the number they got spiritual inspiration.

Yes, I know it's annoying to be called at suppertime. I just don't answer the phone when I'm eating. However, those tho receive these calls should realize there is someone trying to earn a living on the other end. In my case, it was a job I could handle while I was temporarily confined to a wheelchair.

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"Long live God!" (GODSPELL)

#25

re: Telemarketers

Posted: 10/5/04 at 11:54am

I just ask them what they are wearing and how big their tool is.

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Kiss it baby. Kiss it now!