The 2015 SATS

[AbbaRabbit]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 9:04pm

got this in an email :)

Fox Schools Presents
In association with the Kansas and Texas public schools:

The 2015 SATs

PART A: Science

1. A strain of bacteria, after repeated exposure to an antibiotic,
develops a resistance to that antibiotic. This is an example of:

1. Microevolution
2. Microintelligentdesign
3. How the liberal media lies
4. Why faith healing is better than secular medicine

2. Global temperatures have risen 1 degree F since 2004. This is due
to:

1. The greenhouse effect
2. Unsound science
3. The Clinton administration
4. Gays

3. Scientific theories are:

1. Ones which make predictions one can test against experimental
data
2. Only theories
3. Used by out-of-the-mainstream liberal eggheads to oppress white
people
4. Tricks of Satan

PART B: Mathematics

1. Pi is:

1. The ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter
2. Three
3. I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that my dad makes
a lot of money
4. Something Greek homosexuals invented to turn you gay

2. If dinosaurs first appeared 250 million years ago, and became
extinct 185 million years later, how long ago did they become extinct?

1. 65 million years ago
2. There is no paleontological consensus that dinosaurs ever existed
3. 3500 years ago, during the Flood
4. However long ago it was that they turned gay and lost their moral
values

3. If you make $50,000 a year, and the flat income tax rate is 10%, how
much money do you pay the IRS each year?

1. $5,000
2. Too much.
3. $0. The federal government has no Constitutional right to
inconvenience me.
4. The IRS is part of the gay mafia.

PART C: History

1 .The US lost the Vietnam War because:

1. We miscalculated the determination of the enemy.
2. Liberals and the media wouldn't let Rambo do his job.
3. IT WAS A TIE!
4. Clinton made everyone in the Army get gay married.

2. Who led the American army during the Revolutionary War?

1. George Washington
2. George W. Bush
3. Ronald Reagan
4. Jesus

3. Who betrayed the American army during the Revolutionary War?

1. Benedict Arnold
2. Bill Clinton
3. Hillary Clinton
4. The Jews

PART D: Literature

1. What is the greatest book ever written by an American?

1. The Great Gatsby
2. A Charge to Keep
3. Left Behind 2: Tribulation Force
4. The Bible

2. In Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar", Caesar is betrayed by:

1. Brutus
2. Clinton
3. The liberal media
4. The Jews

3. In 1609, Galileo looked through a telescope and saw four small
bodies orbiting Jupiter. This showed:

1. That not all celestial bodies orbit the Earth, and that the Earth
is not necessarily at the center of the Universe
2. There is no astronomical consensus that anything orbits Jupiter
3. Galileo was a biased liberal
4. The telescope was gay

THE END

Scoring is at the discretion of your local school board.

[One Song Glory]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 9:12pm

Interesting.

[CostumeMistress]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 9:13pm

"What is the greatest book written by an American?"
"The Bible."

*snicker*

I have to admit, that one was humorous.

[AbbaRabbit]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 9:28pm

In 1609, Galileo looked through a telescope and saw four small
bodies orbiting Jupiter. This showed:
Galileo was a biased liberal

that was my favorite. :)

[Sporkie]

Posted: 6/27/05 at 9:28pm

Fantastic