"The Gay Cliche" by Tony Lang

[MasterLcZ]

Posted: 1/28/04 at 11:43am

While cleaning up my room this morning (don't ask) I found something I lost track of for year - the book "THE GAY CLICHE- Or How to Be a Homosexual Guy and Still Maintain Sone Slight Degree of Individiality" written in 1985 by Tony Lang (whoever he is..WWEHT..). Though almost 20 years old, it has lost little of its zip and is still remarkably fresh and droll.

To keep this somewhat on-topic, here are some of his THEATER observations:

THREE STEPHEN SONDHEIM RULES:
1) Don't get into discussions about how COMPANY was his last good show and how he has become too inbred and arty for words.

2)Don't have a theory about how MERRILY WE RLL ALONG could have worked. And don't love the cast album. Don't even know that it was recorded.

3) Absolutely loathe SWEENY TODD.

Don't go to previews of disasters that are obviously going to close before they open. If you do, don't have a terrific time.

And speaking of which, don't be obe of the people who saw MOOSE MURDERS Definitely don't be someone who saw it before Eve Arden quit.

Like GYPSY but don't start comparing the Ethel Merman version to the Angela Lansbury revival.

In general, though, it's okay to like Ethel Merman.

But not Angela Lansbury - especially in SWEENY TODD.

Don't do a whole number on Chita Rivera's professionalism.

Don't make fun of Sandy Dennis. But don't like her, either.

Love George C. Scott no matter what he does - including plays in which he appears with his wife.

Like his wife.

Don't go to piano bars where young, unemplyed actors get up and sing. Definitely don't BE a young, unemployed actor who gets up and sings. Actually, the only safe piano bars are those found in run-down midtown hotels in which fading blonde ladies play and drunken out-of-town businessmen sing along. If you find yourself in one of these, it's all right to request and even to sing along to the following:
a) "As Time Goes By"
b) "What Kind Of Fool am I?"
c) "My Way"

Do NOT request:
a) "You Could Drive A Person Crazy"
b) "You Gotta Have A Gimmick"
c) "Guess Who I Saw Today, My Dear"

(Problem song: "Tomorrow")

Updated On: 1/28/04 at 11:43 AM

[innocentchoirboy]

Posted: 1/28/04 at 3:22pm

LMAO! this is so hilarious. and sooooo damn true. it's true that it's hard to be an individual queer, and i am deffinitely going to check out this book. it sounds exceedingly clever. but one thing is for sure: I like Angela Lansbury and i'm proud to say it!

rainbow-power!