Yo ho's!~
So today I was in a store with some pals, and I head to the magazine rack. I pick up Vanity Fair, and leaf through it for maybe 15 seconds. Now I know this must be very annoying to all you sales assistants out there, but whatevah! Anyway, I put it back, and join the line - only to hear this loud voice behind me say extremely loudly "Stupid ****in' bimbo, why doesn't she just buy the magazine, she can read it at home all she wants!"
It was this really bitchy sounding store worker, who was folding some newspapers or something.
Naturally I'm mortified, and turn scarlet...but I manage to turn around and say meekly "Excuse me...?" But he just shoots me this really dirty look, so I just turn around and pay for my junk. I join my three friends who were waiting outside, still bright scarlet. So anyway, now with the backup I needed...the four of us charge back in and pick up a magazine each, and examine them page by page, pointing out stuff of interest.
So this moronic plumpsie-man comes waddling over and spits "Ladies, this is not a library, so put them down and get out." So one of my friends just drops the mag from her hands at once, and we follow suit. So then FattyMcMoron says "Pick them up, or I'll get security." We feign caring, and turn on our stylish heels and head over to the milk aisle, where we proceed to inspect the dairy products. Now by accident, one of my friends drops a carton of buttermilk which creates a huge mess. So then I accidentally drop a container of cream which adds to the big puddle on the floor.... Next thing we hear Liposuction boy rasp snottily into the cheap intercom system 'SECURITY TO THE DAIRY AISLE IMMEDIATELY' We were left with no option but to run as fast as we can through the store, and if we happened to knock over a basket of breadrolls I can only apologize. With 'Catch them, Bertie!' ringing in our ears, we collapsed onto some nearby grass, out of breath but satisfied. Immature, I know, but what are you gonna do.
Aah, the adventures of a bimbo.
Whoah, that was longer than I meant - sorry!
Updated On: 11/24/04 at 08:59 PM
WHAT happened?
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