Posted: 12/11/04 at 3:59am
Hey all. Just popped in to see what's shaking. Too lazy to read all 20 pages that I missed, but I did notice some, ahem, Canada bashing? *cough* I'm sure it was light-hearted (unless you're that F*CKING BITCH Ann Coulter or that LITTLE SMUG ASSHOLE Tucker Carlson), but just because I can, I'm going to gloat about a few things. (Oh, and jmac, love, poodle, bit rich that the REPUBLICAN is saying left-wing Canada would arrest someone for saying "ho", you ho!)
1. In Canada yesterday, the bill was passed in legislation allowing gay marriage. And our immigration laws reflect that, and allow gay couples to be sponsored and receive full benefits as spouses. Canada 1, US 0!
2. We haven't been the target for terrorists! YAY! Canada 1, US 0!
3. Even all those Yanks who hate on Canada still spent something like >$15 million dollars last year on Canadian flags and decals because they know Europeans don't like Americans. Canada 1, US 0!
4. We get FREE Medicare! Canada 1, US 0!
5. Our obesity rate is lower than you guys! Canada 1, US 340(lbs)!
6. We get REAL news! Not that Fox News, CNN propagandist crap that gets fed to you, but balanced, well-reported new articles from a variety of sources so we see both sides of the issue! Canada 1, US 0!
7. We're allowed to have dissenting opinions on our government and its legislation without being considered unpatriotic or having a bunch of angry country singers write nasty songs about us! (And might I add that we've got a competent leader who cares about social issues and foreign policy without pissing off other nations or stomping on his citizens equality rights? AND he can pronounce "nuclear"! Novelty, ain't it?) Canada 1, US 0!
8. We gave you Celine Dion and Avril Lavigne...oh, wait. Canada O, US -2 (because we sent them to you guys, mwahaha!)
9. We gave you Mike Myers, Michael J Fox, Dan Ackroyd, Kim Cattrall, Lorne Michaels, Jim Carrey and Matt LeBlanc. Canada 7, US 0!
10. We're much, much nicer than you folks are. And we've got better beer. (And nearly-legalized weed!) Canada 1, US fpt, fpt, sorry, I'm taking a celebratory toke.
So now, please excuse me while I drink and smoke up with my friendly, skinny, married gay friends while I know if I pass out from too much narcs, my health care is covered. While I'm doing that, I'll buy all the DVDs from the best comedic talent around with the money I've saved from NOT having to buy a bomb shelter. Then tomorrow when I wake up, I'm going to read my newspaper, finish up my essay critiquing the current judicial legislation and know I'm not going to be arrested for treason.
Aww, but don't feel badly. Celine's playing her show in Vegas tomorrow, and I've got a few Canadian flags around if you guys are planning that Christmas trip!
PS. I've never heard of Cheesehead being a slur against Canadians. Isn't that a reference to fans of the Greenbay Packers?
PPS. It's been a godawful couple of days so sorry if I sound cantankerous. I think I've smoked and drank more coffee in the last 72 hours than I have over the last month. Seriously.
I'm outta here. Still cranky and upset (not over the Canadian bashing, just other stuff unrelated to here) but I think I've worn out my tear ducts already. Oh, sweet, sweet cigarettes. A friend in need is a friend indeed, dear tobacco. How I love thee.
"Good luck returning my ass!" - Wilhemina Slater
"This is my breakfast, lunch and f***ing dinner right here. I'm not even f***in' joking." - Colin Farrell
Updated On: 12/11/04 at 03:59 AM
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