I can't get myself to do work for the second night in a row.
Coin operated boy
All the other real ones
that I destroy
Cannot hold a candle
to my new boy and I'll
Never let him go
and I'll never be alone
Not with my coin-operated
boy
I. am. so. bored. I'm too tired to study; I'm not retaining anything. I'll look over my stuff if I can tomorrow before the exam, even though I know I'll probably be even more tired. I don't expect I'll sleep well tonight, plus I can't go to sleep yet, because I'm waiting to talk to someone.
"There was this one time an alarm went off - it was in the middle of '24.' That's just wrong. Everyone knows everyone was watching '24' at that time."
--NYU student quoted in the Washington Square News about students ignoring the frequent fire alarms in dorms
*growls* I want to stop thinking about this issue that's constantly taking over my thoughts. Even at moments when I'm not totally miserable about it, it's still there, driving me insane. Constantly turning over unanswerable questions is exhausting.
I panicked for a minute because I thought BWW wasn't letting me log in, but then I realized that I was entering my username instead of email address. Brilliant!
I'm finally finished with exams and home, and I thought I'd feel relieved but now I'm sort of... blah. I need to try to find a job for the two months I'll be here, which seems kind of impossible.
I barely slept. I just got out of the shower, and I'm shivering uncontrollably.
I have the same awful thought every time I wake up in the morning. It's always the first thing on my mind when I hear my alarm clock. I wish that would stop. I wake up, and I just pick up asking unanswerable quesitons, right where I left off the night before.
I got a call at 6:15 this morning from a woman that I've seen twice in six years. "Richie, can you lend me money, I haven't done my taxes in three years and I have to pay the accountant. I'll pay you back." I had four words. "No, end of discussion."
'Take me out tonight where's there's music and there's people and they're young and alive.'
I feel like I'm going to fall over. I was up so late. And at least if I had been up late studying, I'd feel like a martyr, or something. But I wasn't studying, I was just up.
A work of art is an invitation to love.
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