These might make you smile
These might make you smile
#0These might make you smile
Posted: 6/3/06 at 8:22am
THIRTY LINES TO MAKE
YOU SMILE
1. My husband and I divorced over religious
differences. He thought he was God
and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every
minute of it.
3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare
Depend on Me!
4. Some people are alive only because it's
illegal to kill them.
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6. Don't take life too seriously; no one
gets out alive.
7. You're just jealous because the voices
only talk to me
8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts
are missing.
11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-
the-room- spinning medicine.
13. God must love stupid people; He made
so many.
14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15. Consciousness: That annoying time
between naps.
16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being
under it!
18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted
to Be When I Grew up.
19. Procrastinate Now!
20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want
Fries With That?
21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22. A journey of a thousand miles begins
with a cash advance
23. Stupidity is not a handicap.
Park elsewhere!
24.They call it PMS because MadCow Disease
was already taken.
25. He who dies with the most toys is
nonetheless dead.
26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up
three thousand times the memory.
27. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime
commitment for a pig.
28. The trouble with life is there's no
background music.
29. The original point and click interface was a
Smith and Wesson.
30. I smile because I don't know what the
hell is going on.
"I don't really get the ending,all i can go with is when after several months,Judith saw Pat sang,and later she kissed him on the toilet,after that the story back to where Pat went down from the stage after he'd sung,and he went to the italian lady.I just don't get it,what Judith exatcly meant when he kissed Pat that she had seen,and did Pat end up together with The Italian Lady?Please help me,thank u very much!"
Quote from someone on IMDB in reference to a movie he/she didn't understand. Such grammar!
Mamie
Broadway Legend Joined: 3/26/04
#1re: These might make you smile
Posted: 6/3/06 at 8:29am
24.They call it PMS because MadCow Disease
was already taken.
Oh - so nasty and so very, very funny!
www.thebreastcancersite.com
A click for life.
mamie4 5/14/03
A click for life.
mamie4 5/14/03
peggyandvelma
Broadway Star Joined: 9/4/05
#2re: These might make you smile
Posted: 6/3/06 at 8:31am
30. I smile because I don't know what the
hell is going on.
The story of my life in one sentence. These did make me smile. Thanks, red!
No one is alone.
#3re: These might make you smile
Posted: 6/3/06 at 10:08amI'm only writing this to move the thread away from being RIGHT ABOVE the Breast Cancer thread - it's disturbing reading "These Might Make You Smile" and then "Breast Cancer" on the next line.
Hi, Shirley Temple Pudding.
Videos