To my neighbors...

#1

To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/7/04 at 10:50pm

Okay, I get it. You have extra testosterone, and you like to demonstrate this to the entire building by playing your music so loud that it literally shakes my room. I give up...smoke your pot, play your bass, be really loud. But pretty soon here I'm going to start blasting show tunes as loud as possible, and then we'll see how you like it...
Thanks for your attention.

---

Why do we play with fire? Why do we run our fingers through the flame? Why do we leave our hands on the stove, although we know we're in for some pain? -tick...tick...BOOM!

#2

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/7/04 at 10:54pm

Okay, people upstairs, I know you're fat. Or "pleasantly plump". And I won't discriminate because of it.

And I'll turn off my bathroom fan if the buzz is impeding on your rest post-surgery, as you were so kind to tell my landlord instead of to my face. But when I'm awoken at night because my windows are rattling from your heft upstairs that's stomping so loud that I thought armageddon had come to Unit 105, please accept this Atkins book as a token of my concern. And desire for sleep.

---

"It's not always about you!!!" (But if you think I'm referring to you anyway, then I probably am.)

"Good luck returning my ass!" - Wilhemina Slater

"This is my breakfast, lunch and f***ing dinner right here. I'm not even f***in' joking." - Colin Farrell

#3

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/7/04 at 10:56pm

Jess, you took the words RIGHT out of my mouth!

---

"What a mystery this world. One day you love them and the next day you want to kill them a thousand times over." The Masked Bandit in THE FALL

#4

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/7/04 at 10:59pm

Dear neighbors- I realize we live in a smoking dorm, and underage drinking rules aren't exactly enforced, but the next you smell up the hall with your pot and cigarettes, keep me up until 2 with your extremely loud music, then wake me up at 7 by vomiting for 5 straight minutes, I may have to take drastic action.

Love,
Plum

#5

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/7/04 at 11:01pm

Thanks guys, this is actually making me feel better. Or, at least, humored by the situation...

Chrysanthemum--I feel your pain...

---

Why do we play with fire? Why do we run our fingers through the flame? Why do we leave our hands on the stove, although we know we're in for some pain? -tick...tick...BOOM!

#6

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/7/04 at 11:56pm

Dear idiots walking on the sidewalk. Please actually throw your trash in trash cans. I have to clean up after you and it's disgusting. I can't help it if our parking lot is on the way to your partying at the frats. Also please refrain from breaking your glass bottles in our parking lot. You have any idea how hard they are to clean up? Not to mention I am the one who is going to get yelled at if someone gets a flat. If you don't, I am not going to snowblow the sidewalk in the winter. I am going to just sit and watch you fall on your asses and laugh. (Ok so it isn't my neighbors directly but their partygoers who seem to think our parking lot is a trash dump.)

---

My avatar is a reminder to myself. I need lots of reminders...

#7

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/8/04 at 12:08am

Way back when, when I lived in a dorm situation, I had the same problem. The only way I was able to have a little 'revenge' was every Sunday morning - when, of course, everyone of them was sleeping - I would BLAST Bach's Brandenburg Concerti out of the speakers I placed in the door and window of my room.

I found my week started out much better that way.

#8

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/8/04 at 12:09am

I'm actually thinking about taking up viola again. If I do, I might not have the courtesy to practice in the music building.

#9

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/8/04 at 12:12am

As counter-productive as it might sound, practice playing badly.

#10

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/8/04 at 12:15am

With a string instrument, that's really easy. Have you ever tried playing below the bridge? It produces the most interesting squeaking sounds.

#11

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/8/04 at 12:16am

Playing below the bridge: the best way to get back at your brothers for stealing your possessions.

#12

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/8/04 at 12:19am

I don't have anything to add, but this is quite entertaining.

#13

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/8/04 at 12:29am

To my dear neighbour,
Why are you a nosy little dog? Is your life so empty that you must continually spy on me? Why aren't you inside doing something productive like spending hours on a broadway message board? And anytime I leave the house why are you always, without fail, coming out too to see where I'm going? Please...no one walks the dog in their nightdress...
And please...no more stale loaves of bread, I know it's a ruse to get you inside so you can have a good scout 'round.
And I know that creepy silhouette is you...Enough! Get a hobby!

Updated On: 11/8/04 at 12:29 AM

#14

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/8/04 at 12:30am

"something productive like spending hours on a broadway message board?"

*snort*

#15

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/8/04 at 12:31am

"something productive like spending hours on a broadway message board?"

*snort*

#16

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/8/04 at 12:31am

Dang it, Ellie. I didn't think you would notice me. I will have to think of something more sneaky.

---

"They're eating her and then they're going to eat me. OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!" -Troll 2

#17

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/8/04 at 12:31am

"something productive like spending hours on a broadway message board?"

*snort*

#18

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/8/04 at 12:35am

C'mon, spider. Isn't stalking poor Catherine enough for you?

#19

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/8/04 at 12:36am

Unless...Ellie is TSMs.ZJ?

---

"It's not always about you!!!" (But if you think I'm referring to you anyway, then I probably am.)

"Good luck returning my ass!" - Wilhemina Slater

"This is my breakfast, lunch and f***ing dinner right here. I'm not even f***in' joking." - Colin Farrell

#20

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/8/04 at 12:36am

Wait! Are you telling me Ellie is not Catherine? Well, my apologies there Ellie. Now back to what I was doing. **Oh, Catherine. Where are you?**

---

"They're eating her and then they're going to eat me. OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!" -Troll 2

#21

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/8/04 at 12:39am

I play the viola. Hm... interesting. Oh, but wait, it's in Montana. Drat...
My dad told me that when he was in college, he'd drop a golf ball on the floor of his room whenever the people below him were too loud and they finally came up and promised to stop with the music if he would stop with the golf ball. Haha, I keep meaning to try it, but I don't have a golf ball.

---

Why do we play with fire? Why do we run our fingers through the flame? Why do we leave our hands on the stove, although we know we're in for some pain? -tick...tick...BOOM!

#22

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/8/04 at 12:48am

To the folks living next door thank you for waiting till YESTERDAY to remove your Hurricane Charley debris from OUR cul de sac
Much oblidged

#23

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/8/04 at 1:25am

To the assholes upstairs...
Thank you for playing your music extremely loud so it shakes my roof and makes it hard for me to hear myself think and for jumping and running all around the floor despite the countless amount of times i've asked you to stop (and you proceed to hit on me) and the times we've told the RA. Once again thanks for making my first year in college a "wonderful" experience.

#24

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/8/04 at 10:20am

Last year when I was in dorm.......
Dear floormates.
If you're going to come into my room, don't stand there staring blankly at me until I get off the phone, come back later.
Don't eat my food.
If you're going to play the guitar down the hall, make sure it's in tune. There IS a music major at the end of the hall.
"Roxanne" makes for a fun drinking game once a night, not twenty times a night.
Stop bringing your stupid drunk friends onto our floor so they can puke all over the place leaving us to pay for the cleanup.
"New" residence does not mean "trash the hell out of this place".
To my housemates now...
Yes, I am having better/ more sex than you, and my bed is squeaky. Deal with it, because it's not going to stop until you...
a) do your dishes
b) stop eating my food
c) stop taking half hour showers
d) stop talking to me in the morning, generally
e) stop having other people plan parties for 100 drunk phys ed students in our house which can only really accomodate 30.
Revenge is sweet.

#25

re: To my neighbors...

Posted: 11/8/04 at 3:14pm

All these nasty dorm stories make me think it was smart to live at home until age 24. Of course, it's also one more reason why i'm still single.

---

'The Devil be hitting me!'--Whitney Houston