"Jubilation T. Cornpone":
When we fought the Yankees and annihilation was near
Who was there to lead the charge that took us safe to the rear?
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone
Old "Toot your own horn - pone."
Jubilation T. Cornpone, a man who knew no fear!
When we almost had 'em but the issue still was in doubt
Who suggested the retreat that turned it into a rout?
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone
Old "Tattered and torn - pone."
Jubilation T. Cornpone, he kept us hidin' out!
With our ammunition gone and faced with utter defeat
Who was it that burned the crops and left us nothing to eat?
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone
Old "September Morn - pone."
Jubilation T. Cornpone, the pants blown off his seat!
HURRAY!
When it seemed like our brave boys would keep on fighting for months
Who took pity on them and ca-pit-u-lated at once?
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone
Unshaven and shorn - pone
Jubilation T. Cornpone, he weren't nobody's dunce!
Who went re-con-noiter-ing to flank the enemy's rear
Circled through the piney woods, and disappeared for a year?
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone;
Old "Treat 'em with scorn - pone."
Jubilation T. Cornpone, the missing mountaineer!
Who became so famous with a reputation so great
That he ran for president and didn't carry a state?
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone;
Old "Wouldn't be sworn - pone."
Jubilation T. Cornpone, he made the country wait!
Stonewall Jackson got his name by standing firm in the fray
Who was known to all his men as good ol' "Paper Mache?"
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone
Jubilation T. Cornpone, he really saved the day!
Jubilation T. Cornpone, he really saved the day!
History says that General Grant was pretty good with a jug
Who went drink for drink with him and wound up under the rug?
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone
Passed out until morn - pone.
Jubilation T. Cornpone, his whiskers in his mug!
Hearing that a Northern spy had come to town for the night
Who gained entrance to her room and lost the glorious fight?
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone;
Old "Weary and worn - pone."
Jubilation T. Cornpone, he fought all through the night!
Though he's gone to his reward, his mighty torch is still lit
First in war. First in peace. First to holler, "I quit!"
Jubilation T. Cornpone
Jubilation T. Cornpone,a picture of remorse!
Music: Gene de Paul
Lyrics: Johnny Mercer
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"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."