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WEDNESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE

Broadwayboobs Profile Photo
Broadwayboobs
#0WEDNESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 7/20/05 at 5:09am

Doctors vs Guns

Doctors:
(A) The number of doctors in the U.S. is 700,000
(B) Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year
are 120,000
(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 17.14%
Statistics courtesy of the U.S.Dept of Health & Human
Services
************************************************************
Guns:
(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000
(yes that's 80 million)
(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all
age groups, is 1,500
(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is
0.001875%
Statistics courtesy of the FBI
************************************************************
So statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000
times more dangerous than gun owners.
************************************************************
Remember, guns don't kill people, doctors do.
************************************************************
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS
AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.
************************************************************
Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We
must ban doctors before this gets completely out of
hand!
************************************************************
(Out of concern for the public at large, I have withheld
statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause
people to panic and seek medical attention.)


"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Ralph Waldo Emerson

mominator Profile Photo
mominator
#1re: WEDNESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 7/20/05 at 7:47am

OK BB. Now that was scary.... I think I need a hug.


"All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen." Conan O'Brien
Updated On: 7/20/05 at 07:47 AM

ashley0139
#2re: WEDNESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 7/20/05 at 7:59am

That's not funny... that's disturbing. What kind of chuckle was that?!?!


"This table, he is over one hundred years old. If I could, I would take an old gramophone needle and run it along the surface of the wood. To hear the music of the voices. All that was said." - Doug Wright, I Am My Own Wife

OnTheAisle Profile Photo
OnTheAisle
#3re: WEDNESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 7/20/05 at 8:32am

Ewwww.... scary! Here's another one my friend found:

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:


What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever
wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer
these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12 +5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

and

B-U-L-L-$-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far a$$ kissing will take you.

A-$-$-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard
Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bull$hit and A$$ kissing that will put you over the top!


"Not a day goes by..."
Updated On: 7/20/05 at 08:32 AM

#4re: WEDNESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE
Posted: 7/20/05 at 10:29am

Is that another one of Lusia's pics?


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