Wednesday AFTERNOON Chuckle

[redhotinnyc2]

Posted: 3/29/05 at 2:48pm

Airplane Deficiencies

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form,
called a "gripe
sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the
aircraft. The
mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs
on the form, &
then
pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of
humor. Here are
some actual maintenance complaints submitted by
Quantas' pilots & the
solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has
never had an
accident.


(P= The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)



****************************************************************

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
----------------------------------------

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
----------------------------------------

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
----------------------------------------

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
----------------------------------------

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200
feet per minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
----------------------------------------

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
----------------------------------------

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
----------------------------------------

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
----------------------------------------

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
----------------------------------------

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
----------------------------------------

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
----------------------------------------

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, & be
serious.
----------------------------------------

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
----------------------------------------

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
----------------------------------------

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

Updated On: 3/29/05 at 02:48 PM

[liotte]

Posted: 3/29/05 at 2:54pm

Haha, that was quite entertaining! Thanks!

[paradox_error]

Posted: 3/29/05 at 2:58pm

Thankyou for that!

Wonderful!

[oxdreaminxo]

Posted: 3/29/05 at 6:32pm

I need that so badly right now, thanks!

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 3/29/05 at 6:34pm

Isn't it... Tuesday?

But thanks!

[son_of_a_gunn_25]

Posted: 3/29/05 at 6:37pm

You beat me to it emcee!

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 3/29/05 at 6:38pm

I knew I was having a bad day, but I didn't think I was losing my mind. Then I was like "huh. Maybe I am..." Too bad it's not Wednesday.

[amasis]

Posted: 3/29/05 at 7:02pm

Oh, I needed that. Thanks, redhot!

And for whatever it's worth, it's Wednesday where I am.