Why Athletes Can Not Have Real Jobs.

[beacon1]

Posted: 6/7/05 at 5:03pm

NewOrleans Saint Running Back George Rogers when asked about the
upcoming season: I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan'all them kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said:"To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John
Jenkins:"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (that is beautiful)

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys lineup
alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or aunt."

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said,'Coach,I don't know and I don't care.'"

Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too dadgum ugly to kiss good-bye."

Updated On: 6/7/05 at 05:03 PM

[ckeaton]

Posted: 6/7/05 at 5:05pm

Ha.

[Plum]

Posted: 6/7/05 at 5:05pm

Hee. But I hope you're not saying all athletes are like that.

[beacon1]

Posted: 6/7/05 at 5:13pm

No, of course not...

I just loved it when I read it, though, because I DO know jocks who sound like this.

Too many blows to the head, I guess...

[Plum]

Posted: 6/7/05 at 5:17pm

In my Pollyanna moments, I like to think they're just applying their minds to what they do best- sports- instead of to their grammar and syntax. :) And sadly, I've seen way too many people with "real jobs" make just about as much sense. Updated On: 6/7/05 at 05:17 PM

[Type_A_Tiff]

Posted: 6/7/05 at 5:24pm

Now Plum, whoever on earth would be the prime example of that?

[Plum]

Posted: 6/7/05 at 5:25pm

Oh, lord. I wasn't even thinking of that. *bows to the evil that is Tiff*

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 6/7/05 at 5:26pm

"Too many blows to the head, I guess... "

I was thinking that while I was reading the post. lol