Why is my doctor hitting on me? or, The Ballad of the Rolex.

[ckeaton]

Posted: 3/4/05 at 11:38am

Well lets just say that it used to be O negative. I went to the doctor to get my blood test done, and I realized that he was hitting on me, and I said wait a second, I just want a blood test. He said no, instead I'd like to give you this Rolex. He gave me the watch and then was all, I want you to tell me what time it is. but I said no, just tell me my blood type and stuff. Then when I wouldn't, he took the watch back. Luckily I saw that my blood type was 0 negative. But I don't think it is anymore. I try to be a positive person, but I feel so sad, I think I'm starting to lose my hair.

Updated On: 3/4/05 at 11:38 AM

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 3/4/05 at 11:42am

C, I'm really sorry this happened to you. I had a watch once, they really are more trouble than they are worth. H-U-G-Z.

[Gothampc]

Posted: 3/4/05 at 11:44am

I think the new rule around here is that we create thread titles that describe the post you are making. This one should really be Why is my doctor hitting on me?

https://forum.broadwayworld.com/readmessage.cfm?thread=840859&boardname=off&dt=030305052729

[ckeaton]

Posted: 3/4/05 at 11:45am

I went to the dentist this mornign and he was all, wow you were late, and I was all, but I don't have a watch, and he was all well you should get one. Then he poked me in the eye with his no-no.

[Matt_G]

Posted: 3/4/05 at 11:46am

At least he didn't get no-no juice in your eye. IT BURNS!

[kissmycookie]

Posted: 3/4/05 at 11:49am

that's why it pays to wear glasses

[joeyjoe]

Posted: 3/4/05 at 11:49am

ck, you should cook him a big dinner to finally tell him all you want is to know your blood type... only don't make pasta... i hear you're not too good at that...

[ckeaton]

Posted: 3/4/05 at 11:49am

But then I had to go to the eye doctor and she was like, what happened to your eye, so I told her about the no-no, and while I was telling her the story, her eyes got all glassy and she was like, is that a Rolex in your pocket? and I said, well I used to have a Rolex, and she said WOW, you must be rich, and I said, well I like to pretend... so she said, I have to do a no-no inspection. It's possible you have no-no incephilitis or some such bird disease of the no-no... but while she was inspecting the no-no she started saying yes-yes, and I was like, no, no... and she said yes... so I zipped up my pantalones really fast, catching my no-no in the zippy.

[joeyjoe]

Posted: 3/4/05 at 11:51am

okay, this is my favorite thread for the moment!!!

[kissmycookie]

Posted: 3/4/05 at 11:52am

owie

[ckeaton]

Posted: 3/4/05 at 11:57am

but wait!
So, I was in the emergency room, cradling my now defunct bird incephalitised no-no in a lovely hand towel (I think it was from Crate and Barrel) and the nurse was like, trying to take my blood pressure but I had trouble, cause boy am I bad about the blood pressure stuff... I'm sitting there with the cuff on my arm, no-no in my towel, and who should walk in but my live-in handyman/pastry chef... He said that my cake was almost ready, but to get it I'd have to play a game of strip pinochle with him and his wealthy aunt bernice. Well apparently bernice has this hump, not like a camel, but more like the guy in that funny movie with the people in the castle and the horses that go whinnnnninnny everytime someone says cloris leachman, or something? anyway... I was so excited about the cake that I leapt off of the table forgetting the cuff on my arm. the cuff held me firm, and I fell right on my bum... I think something cracked.

[kissmycookie]

Posted: 3/4/05 at 12:00pm

did you try to tell them that your blood type is O negative and that you really didn't need to be pressurized?

[ckeaton]

Posted: 3/4/05 at 12:06pm

Crap!
But I'm there, with my live-in handyman/pastry chef, and his wealthy aunt bernice, did I tell you his name was Jean-claude? Well anyway his wealthy aunt bernice and jean-claude were tending to my cracked bum, and I noticed something was afoot. Well actually something was on my foot. wealthy aunt bernice had dropped the plastic bag that she always carries with her. In it was a pastry bag filled with drugs and a shiny new Rolex. Apparently she had broughten gifts for jean-claude and me... Thats when I died, I think.

[kissmycookie]

Posted: 3/4/05 at 12:08pm

would the drugs make you a positive from a negative? They say Prozac helps....

[bwaysinger]

Posted: 3/4/05 at 3:02pm

Wow. Are you sure the bag didn't fall out of Aunt Bernice's hoo-hah while you were holding your no-no?
I'd say a big yes-yes.

[ckeaton]

Posted: 3/4/05 at 3:07pm

um... no. wealthy aunt bernice doesn't have a hoo-hah. ew.

[bwaysinger]

Posted: 3/4/05 at 3:35pm

Are you sure? I mean, I know our current First Lady has embarked on a nation-wide tour to debunk the myth of the existance of a hoo-hah or the pleasures that can be had with one but I'm pretty sure she has one.
And, knowing most aunts, she has a propensity for hiding things there.

[ckeaton]

Posted: 3/4/05 at 3:57pm

but yeah I mean I met her once, but she was like totally, "when you're first lady they sew up your hoo-haw so it doesn't distract anyone, but then she said she had a little platinum seam ripper, so georgie can "play his little game". I was like what game, and then she gave me a dollar to get some ice cream. So I was like yeah!

[bwaysinger]

Posted: 3/4/05 at 4:35pm

She didn't make you bring the ice cream to her while she was in her bedroom, did she? You know women are evil and do mean-spirited things to make nubile young boys fall by the wayside with the ways of Satan.
By the way, I love the word hoo-hah.

[Marquise]

Posted: 3/4/05 at 5:43pm

ROTFLMAO!

All of youse are a bunch of sick, demented mofos!