i dont know just what to do with myself

forgive me goin all cruel sandwich, but i am at the end of my rope.

i cant hide from the fact that nothing is ever gonna get better at my job.
i have to find something eslse to do with my life.
something where my talents & skills have some value.
maybe i am deluding myself, but i feel that i have more to offer...
what ive been doing for the past 5 years is graphic art & design for kids clothes...but due to budget cuts in the company, ive been having to do more & more production & less & less creative.

to the point where i havent done anything creative in many months.
& it looks like its just gonna get worse.

i dont even want to be in this industry,...i just took this art job to pay the biills. i dont even know what i WANT to do.

yes, i do. i want to DRAW. but thats so unspecific..
but theres GOT to be some job where my art would be appreciated!!!
where i would be treated with a little bit of respect & decency ( i *do* think theres some kind of weird homophobic aspect to the way i am treated here)

i am just feeling hopeless.

obviously things are very bad if i have to issue a public cry for help like this.

i'll probably feel really embarrassed about this as soon as i hit the "post" button.

well, i can always go full-on cruel & edit all out later.

Updated On: 1/18/08 at 01:49 PM

yes, it does.
thank you.

Take it from a middle aged homo. Don't be scared of change and do NOT sell yourself short. Take a chance.

Most of us feel like this at some point. So please know that you are not alone.

Waves of joy and waves of suffering. That's what life is.

Try to be patient with yourself until the tide shifts...and it will. It always does.

You are a gift to us all, and I don't just mean because of your talent as an artist. I mean because of who you are.

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Yeah, we love you. Don't quit your job until you have something else. I know it's a drag to create art on spec, but there ain't no reason, to my way of thinking, that you can't be the next indie comics darling.

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Just looked at some of your artwork and it is great! Keep going!!! You have a lot of talent=-)

Drawing is your passion. And you are brilliant at it. It's hard sometimes to reconcile the "day job" with our passion. About twice a year I get the itch to leave my corporate, dead-end job (marketing graphics for an engineering firm) but when I get close to a different job, I realize that my current job gives me the opportunity to follow my passion - theater - without too much added stress. And until I can do that full time, I'm keeping my low-key day job.

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i just don't know what to do with myself
i don't know what to do with myself
movies only make me sad
parties make me feel as bad
cause I'm not with you
i just don't know what to do

like a summer rose
needs the sun and rain
i need your sweet love
to beat love away

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I agree with everything already said, and as Pennywise said....we all go through this, and remember while you are in a "down" now....an "up" WILL come.

You are an amazing artist, simply amazing.....your work is very unique.

During these times, remember that you live in one of the most amazing cities on the planet, and remember why you moved there.

Change is good........find your dream, grab it, and hang on for dear life as it is worth it.

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I'm with Diva- you've got to get into animation! There are so many talented people on this board who could help with music, producing DVD's, storytelling, marketing. The possibilities are endless. I wish there could be a meeting of minds. Your art is so adorable and the animation on the opening page of your website just makes me smile. If I lived closer to you, I would start working on a project with you right this minute! I can just see all the licensing materials in the market as we speak! Bestie could help with the DVD's. Erika could provide the vocals. Take some of that negative energy and channel it. I'm not just blowing smoke up you know where, I TRULY believe you are very talented. Your original post saddened me but the responses are so sincere and generous. mom

I thought this thread was going to be about Fiona Apple.

"Days like this, I dont know what to do with myself.
All day - and all night.
I wander the halls along the walls and under my breath.
I say to myself.
I need fuel - to take flight"


But seriously, Norn, try to stay positive. You are extremely talented. Now, you just have to figure out how to get paid for doing what you love.

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Papi, Norn met me. He wasn't very impressed.

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"Don't worry. You're being led to where you belong."

--Marianne Williamson

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