My friend just sent this to me and I thought I would share:
"This year, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union Address fall in the same week. One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication. The other involves.....
a groundhog."
"Judy Garland, Jimmy Dean, You tragedy Queen" ~ Taboo
"Watching a frat boy realize just what he put his d!ck in...ex's getting std's...schadenfruede" ~ Ave Q
"when dangers near, exploit their fear" ~ Reefer Madness the Musical