song i'm working on

[Caroline-Q-or-TBoo]

song i'm working on#0

Posted: 11/13/04 at 12:07am

if you could only hear the tune that I sing it too, it would sound a lot better. Anywho, i've been working on a song for a couple of minutes after listening to Closer to Heaven, i wrote this song about mis fits! keep in mind it's a work in progress! BTW- it's sung fron the point of view of a misfit

little girl of five,
saw her momma die,
suddenly she's changed,
hurt all inside,
and the feelings won't stop.
The pain, the sympathy,
the tears, they wouldn't come.

Writers, painters, preformance artists,
high heel shoes- feux fur coats.
Punks, and queers, the quiet fellow.
The girl, that saw her momma die.

Ridiculed from head to toe,
burnt out at the source.
The world pretends they don't exist,
it steers a far away course.
So we search for something!
Please show us a sign we might belong,
anywhere... or no where...
Try as they might, the can't keep us down.

The freaks and the punks and the fat girls,
The speed freaks, the nerdy little boys.
Drama freaks in high school,
guys that never went to school, at all.
The spinster in the garden club,
people that don't belong!
cast out from society,
mis fits who can't get along
They just wanna be normal,
they just wanna fit in.

~that's what is now...~

"Picture "The View," with the wisecracking, sympathetic sweethearts of that ABC television show replaced by a panel of embittered, suffering or enraged Arab women" -the Times review of Black Eyed

[capnkidd]

re: song i'm working on#1

Posted: 11/13/04 at 12:10am

it's a little depressing,but nice work-good luck with it-I especially liked the spinster's part...

[Caroline-Q-or-TBoo]

re: song i'm working on#2

Posted: 11/13/04 at 12:21am

well, it's sorta supposed to be

"Picture "The View," with the wisecracking, sympathetic sweethearts of that ABC television show replaced by a panel of embittered, suffering or enraged Arab women" -the Times review of Black Eyed

[munkustrap178]

re: song i'm working on#3

Posted: 11/13/04 at 12:24am

I think it could be good! I can't hear the music, obviously, but it's a little choppy to read - maybe try to rhyme some of the lines? Not like I knwo anything about songwriting...

"If you are going to do something, do it well. And leave something witchy." -Charlie Manson

[capnkidd]

re: song i'm working on#4

Posted: 11/13/04 at 12:26am

well,yeah,you telegraphed that well-I also got the impression(maybe it was a typo)that it was sung by a ms. fit(since the first lines were about a young lady).....probably just me,but I kinda liked that concept....anyway,nice work....

[munkustrap178]

re: song i'm working on#5

Posted: 11/13/04 at 12:27am

It sounds like a missing song from "Elegies for Angels, Punks, and Raging Queens"

"If you are going to do something, do it well. And leave something witchy." -Charlie Manson

[Caroline-Q-or-TBoo]

re: song i'm working on#6

Posted: 11/13/04 at 12:31am

i like that cd! but i was thinking Closer to heaven w/o the crappy pop music!
I neeeed a positive role modeeeelll!

"Picture "The View," with the wisecracking, sympathetic sweethearts of that ABC television show replaced by a panel of embittered, suffering or enraged Arab women" -the Times review of Black Eyed