America's Next Top Model Cycle 10- Page 4

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 3/11/08 at 4:53pm

Well, that last episode was filled with all kinds of skank, wasn't it? Fatima, after apologizing for her attitude last week, has a memory lapse and remarks about Allison's ass being all huge which, what? I mean, it would be sort of funny if there was some kind of justification, but Fatima just made herself look crazy, which is how Allison should have dealt with the situation. Instead, Allison takes the offended off-ramp from the eating disorder highway and claims to be a "recovering anorexic". Right. I'm not saying she wasn't anorexic, but I mean, for a girl who loves to talk about herself, it's never come up before now? And so conveniently? Call me cynical, but I have just known WAY too many girls who cry "eating disorder" when it can be used to their advantage. And stop giving me that look, but because you know exactly what I'm talking about. Anyway, I'll give her the benefit of a doubt for the entire rest of the time she's on this season. I swear.

Meanwhile...makeovers! I have to say, this is definitely one of the best makeover cycles. Nearly everyone looks better. Stacy Ann actually has a bit of an edge for a change, which immediately turns into soft fluffy bunny rabbits the moment she opens her mouth, but it's one of the reasons I like her. Claire looks HOT. I think the blonde pixie cut really works for her. She looked interesting and intriguing before. Now she still does, but she POPS out with a bang. Lauren looks so pretty, she doen't know what to do with herself. It's so Shandi! I hope she has sex in Milan with a hot Italian dude. I really do. Anything on Marvita is an improvement over that pointy door-stop she had previously sitting on her head. That was just nasty. Allison thinks she looks hot and really goes out of her way to tell us how much more professional and awesome she is, so any element of suspense in this episode has completed deflated. But it is nice of her to tell us how she has modeled professionally (at a Wednesday J.C. Penny senior sales luncheon) and traveled to various Asian countries (to be sold as a pre-teen boy toy sex slave, though there were no takers). Bottom line, no matter how great she tells us she is, she still smells like spoiled bitch left out in the summer sun.

The only makeover I didn't like was Anus. Now, she really looks like she lives up to her name. Even Amy Winehouse is like, "Ew!"

Makeup challenge. Blah blah...Fatima looks like she used glow-in-the-dark finger paints! HAHAHAHAHA!!! Blah blah...Claire wins! YAY! We like Claire. She gets to have her picture on a website. Woo! Unlike the picture on the Top Model website. Or on the Google photo search. But, whatever. YAY!

Photo shoot. All the girls look pretty good, except, poor Whitney! I mean, what were they thinking??? GOD! That was just mean. Allison was predictably bad, but went on to tell us that no matter what Mister Jay says, she thinks she rocked the photo shoot. Why don't these girls ever watch the show before casting? I mean, to not laugh at them at this point would be rude.

Judging...Paulina...yeah, we know she's new...Miss Jay and the vest of velcrocity...Nigel...can we just pause for a moment? Nigel... Ok, I'm better. Lauren gets called first! YAY! I'm really enjoying this. And Allison gets kicked in her Big Apple Bottom. YAY! This cycle already rocks. I'm hoping Marvita will go all Trigger on Fatima's ass and stomp her to death like a rattlesnake on the western plain.

[Becoz_i_knew_you21]

Posted: 4/16/08 at 11:33pm

Updated On: 4/17/08 at 11:33 PM