Dear Mr. Varley

Dear Eddie Varley -

While I'm always thrilled to see my name in print blog, let me assure you that you have offended nothing, save for my artistic sensibilities. The only work of yours I have ever truly enjoyed was your performance as the title role in "Grapefruit." Even back in our Julliard days, I knew that if ever you had the chance to play a tangy, acidic citrus fruit you would have an appeal like no other, because you, sir, are a tangy, acidic citrus fruit. I look forward to your return to the stage in the long awaited sequel "Tangerine!"

That said, if you can produce a hard-hitting, CNN style interview with a theatre luminary the likes a Rob Maitner or a Judy Tenuta, then I will recant a fair 16% of the bile and vitriol that I have spewed in your direction.

Most sincerely,

Mrs. Phyllis Rogers Stone
The Varley Factor

By law, I am unable to accept any apologies that make reference to Andrew Lloyd Webber.

I also like Angus McIndoe. Before or after the theater, good show or wrongheaded revival, a drink or a meal at Angus McIndoe always makes me happy too.

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