Productions From Hell

[jezzebelle]

Posted: 5/13/04 at 10:04am

What are your production horror stories ? Is there a production you were in that goes down in your mind as a diaster from start to finish ? Were there actors with super-sized egos ? Bad direction or choregraphy ?

My production horror story, was when I was Mrs. Cratchit in a musical version of A Christmas Carol for a community theatre. It was a nightmare. The director didn't direct at all, people in the cast dropped like flies (tech week, we lost a whole family of five people), the costumes were so shabbily made, that they fell apart on stage, Scrooge, who was supposed to have an English accent decided for some reason that she was Jamican, because she developed a weird accent out of nowhere and lines were constantly added/dropped because we kept losing people. It was extremely stressful and needless to say, I'll never do anything with that theatre again.

So, what are your "bad" production stories ?

-Jess

[emonkeygirl]

Posted: 5/13/04 at 11:55am

My favorite was my first "professional" gig. It was the Musical Comedy Murders of 1940 & one of the cast members was Richard Lewis' mother. (Richard Lewis-comedian, King John in Robin Hood: Men in Tights.)
I was playing Nikki, who has just discovered a secret passage, & I'm supposed to be stopped from going into it by his mother's character. She doesn't come on stage. For about 5 minutes. So, I'm making up lines right & left about finding a flashlight & then the batteries don't work, etc. It was a joy (sarcasm). Apparently, the audience didn't know, but if that's the case, I think they must have been asleep.
Mrs. Lewis later said, "I forgot I was supposed to come out then."
Sigh.
But I got paid. :)

[redhotinnyc2]

Posted: 5/13/04 at 12:01pm

I've honestly never had a bad experience in professional theatre - not bad enough to write about. Or maybe I'm losing my memory....which is highly possible these days...LOL....

[Cutielyricist]

Posted: 5/13/04 at 12:19pm

I was in a production of Oklahoma, where upon auditions we have 6 guys and 15 girls, they started taking guys off the street without auditions just to balance the cast. then the director got the role of the Mayor in the music man in another theatre and blocked our show in two days, then dissapeared for a month and a half until preview night.
During that month, the choreographer who was new to the theatre, took over and reblocked and directed the show. But so many of the "regulars" resented her and her direction and chose to do it as they please. One of their mothers ws the costumer who refused to allow her costumes to be more roomy for dance moves.
Because of the missing director no sets were made. we had one flat of a house, remaining from a "funny thing -forum" show six months before, that somehow was used along with the set change of adding a bale of hay to it in act two. Which was my job to move.
The night of before preview, the director returned and had to mediate as the costumer picked a fight with the choreographer and told her to " get this b*tch off my back." and then the costumer quit, took her costumes and left us high and dry for preview.
That night My ex-boyfirend "newly elected costumer" and I had to go to another playhouse and borrow and re-taylor their oklahoma costumes for our use.
The show opened, they guys got gayer then ever. and began sleeping around backstage causing lots of drama between the cast. Laurie and Curly couldnt stand each other offstage. and the audience coldnt understand why we had a gay asian cowboy in one scene.
One other cast member and I were the only ones who could lift the bales of hay for the "scene change" and we did..only for me to find that I am allergic to hay..and in the midst of the title number..broke out in hives and a fit of sneezes.
The girls didnt have the vocal power to sing higher than laurie..so secretly the producers of the show, recorded some singers singing it..and played it along with the orchestra. They hadnt mentioned that to the cast..so when "many a new day" came on..and the maximum volume mechanical choir began singing backstage..the girls onstage were so surprised that they stopped singing and looked around..all the while..the sound contined..further confusing our audience.
Farmer Carnes NEVER got the rhythms, music, or lines right in Farmer and the Cowman..and eventually that song was given to me..first to cue him..then to just sing.
One night, a cast member felt her husband should be in the show..so went out in the audience, grabbed him before show..and suddenly he was cast.
Other Cast members seemed to decide when their role in the show had ended and began dissapearing never to return. We resented that the show opened haloween weekend,ran on haloween, then thanksgiving weekend and christmas and new years weeks..taking only the actual holiday off, and into the new year..
The show KEPT extending, even though we all hated it.. actors changed roles to make up for ones that couldnt extend, but never fully learned the part. People started taking offstage jokes and bringign them onstage..it seemed like the audience was now coming for that.
"you know we belong to the land. Yo ho!" we would sing, while pointing to our female dance partner. Or chorus members started making up their own enterances.
Every actor hated the production and it began to grow...
Final night, Curly lost his voice and couldnt sing the opening number so it somehow became an ensemble number where all the guys were working on the farm and singing "oh what a beautiful morning". :Laurie who didnt like Curly..took that oportunity to ocivate all of their ending notes to make it look like he wasnt singing or couldnt hack it...
By the end of the run..we didnt even feel like having a cast party..just taking off and quietly resolving never to work at that theatre again..

[wickedrawbrt]

Posted: 5/13/04 at 3:01pm

I hate to say this, but very funny. You've made my day with that post. When I was younger my mother did a production of "Company" with a lot of the same problems including a very alcoholic actress playing Joanne (maybe it was method acting), but it was like the production that wouldn't die.

Thanks for bringing back all the memories. Hilarious.

[WindyCityActor]

Posted: 5/13/04 at 3:41pm

Well, I've been in lousy productions...pooring direction, awful scripts, no publicity, backstage drama...but the one production from hell would be my college production of Hamlet.

First off...It was uncut and ran close to four hours!

But the injuries!!

1.) Polonius developed a case of kidney stones and had to be hospitalized to pass them.

2.) Our replacement Polonius was really stabbed by our Hamlet in the Tapestry scene.

3.) Claudius (who was legally blind) walked right into an onstage post, and gave himself a concussion.

4.) Laertes was hospitalized when the wooden practice dagger shattered while rehearsing the duel scene sending splinters into one of his eyes.

5.) Hamlet severely sprained his ankle onstage during the dueling scene.

I played the role of Horatio, and was spared injury.

It didn't help that our Hamlet who was associated with most of the injuries had a bit of a chemical dependency problem at that time. He later got cast in a significant role in a daytime drama. Unfortunately, he never got help with his addictions and died of a drug overdose in a hooker's bed while he was doing the soap opera.

[redhotinnyc2]

Posted: 5/13/04 at 3:52pm

Yikes!

[CurtainUp]

Posted: 5/13/04 at 4:57pm

totally off topic, but someone else has done MCM1940? I just finished it (only a high school show but still) last week. I had the pleasure of playing Marjorie Baverstock. Even if your production was bad, the script's hysterical!