Proof that they'll offer anyone a Broadway gig nowadays

[Unknown User]

Proof that they'll offer anyone a Broadway gig nowadays#0

Posted: 4/22/05 at 4:07pm

Figure skater Michelle Kwan claims she was offered a part in a Broadway play.

Excerpt: "Still, other opportunities could sway Kwan from Turin. She has taken acting classes and received an offer to do a Broadway play."

I wonder which play it was? It was painful enough watching her "act" in Ice Princess. I hate to imagine what would have happened if she'd said yes! Her diction is awful!!!
Michelle Kwan offered Broadway

[Rathnait62]

re: Proof that they'll offer anyone a Broadway gig nowadays#1

Posted: 4/22/05 at 4:34pm

I haven't seen Ice Princess, but she doesn't have much of a personality in interviews, so I don't think a life in the theater is her calling.

Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson

[keggss23]

re: Proof that they'll offer anyone a Broadway gig nowadays#2

Posted: 4/22/05 at 4:40pm

Since it seems like everyone nowdays can get a role on Bway, where my role?

"When you're a Jet, / You're a Jet all the way, / From your first pirouette / To your last grand jete." --Brian Kaman

[another_day_2day]

re: Proof that they'll offer anyone a Broadway gig nowadays#3

Posted: 4/22/05 at 4:45pm

haha...exactly what i was thinking

[Ourtime992]

re: Proof that they'll offer anyone a Broadway gig nowadays#4

Posted: 4/22/05 at 4:59pm

this reminds me of the Forbidden Broadway piece in which the Weissler's offer any TV has-been a role in Grease...except that this is infinitely more frightening.

[Justice]

re: Proof that they'll offer anyone a Broadway gig nowadays#5

Posted: 4/22/05 at 5:12pm

Michelle Kwan / Sonja Henning
Asian / Swedish
Ice Princess / Sun Valley Serenade
Bad diction / Swedish Accent
Olympic Silver/ Olympic Gold

Deductive Reasoning:

Michelle Kwan to appear on Broadway in Sun Valley Serenade

"Do you know what pledge time is, Andrew"? said the PBS Executive. "Yes", Lloyd Webber replied. "My 50th birthday special must be one program that gets done a lot." "No", mused the man from PBS heedlessy. "Not so much. Our Stephen Sondheim Carnegie Hall concert. That's a big one." Spoons, forks and knives seemed suddenly to suspend their motion in horror, all around the table.

Updated On: 4/22/05 at 05:12 PM

[Mister Matt]

re: Proof that they'll offer anyone a Broadway gig nowadays#6

Posted: 4/22/05 at 5:31pm

I'll take Yamaguchi over Kwan any day.

"What can you expect from a bunch of seitan worshippers?" - Reginald Tresilian

[Rathnait62]

re: Proof that they'll offer anyone a Broadway gig nowadays#7

Posted: 4/22/05 at 5:35pm

I guess I'll take any of them over the whiny personality-less Nancy Kerrigan.

Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson

[JeffG]

re: Proof that they'll offer anyone a Broadway gig nowadays#8

Posted: 4/22/05 at 5:40pm

She's being considered for WICKED: ON ICE in the role of Elphaba. They were thinking of going with Wickipades, but didn't think people would get the connection.


Well that's what I heard from a friend who has a cousin who has a next door neighbor who once dated a girl who knew someone on Broadway.

[keggss23]

re: Proof that they'll offer anyone a Broadway gig nowadays#9

Posted: 4/22/05 at 5:45pm

Actually, I heard that "Wickipades" is starring Tanya Harding as Elphaba and Nancy Kerrigan as Glinda.

"When you're a Jet, / You're a Jet all the way, / From your first pirouette / To your last grand jete." --Brian Kaman

[Rathnait62]

re: Proof that they'll offer anyone a Broadway gig nowadays#10

Posted: 4/22/05 at 5:47pm

I'll buy a ticket to that as long as Elphie whacks Glindy extra hard with a blunt instrument.

Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson

[keggss23]

re: Proof that they'll offer anyone a Broadway gig nowadays#11

Posted: 4/22/05 at 5:57pm

Brian Boytano has just been confirmed as Boq

"When you're a Jet, / You're a Jet all the way, / From your first pirouette / To your last grand jete." --Brian Kaman

[Adam Chris]

re: Proof that they'll offer anyone a Broadway gig nowadays#12

Posted: 4/22/05 at 6:14pm

Hey Rath...what happened to your icon. Did Jack murder Maureen? The pic is kinda creepy.

[wildcat]

re: Proof that they'll offer anyone a Broadway gig nowadays#13

Posted: 4/22/05 at 8:45pm

The original London cast of DAMN YANKEES (1955) starred an ice skating star named Belita. She was rather swiftly replaced by Elisabeth Seal.

[orangeskittles]

re: Proof that they'll offer anyone a Broadway gig nowadays#14

Posted: 4/22/05 at 8:50pm

What would Brian Boitano do? Pay-off some thug to drop a house on Nessarose (the knee-whacking didn't work, as she's already in a wheelchair), then make a sex tape during his honeymoon with Glinda.

Like a firework unexploded
Wanting life but never knowing how

[Mr Roxy]

re: Proof that they'll offer anyone a Broadway gig nowadays#15

Posted: 4/22/05 at 9:24pm

How about Tonya Harding the Musical ? It is a lead pipe cinch to be a hit

Poster Emeritus