Requiem For Shattered Dreams and Unfufilled Hopes (or EPIC FAIL!)

[Icehouse Life]

Posted: 4/30/14 at 6:17pm

I know, that next week I promised turned into a few years since I last wrote here. Hope you're intrigued by what I wrote so far here. By hope, I mean, not being thrilled in a positive way but compelled. I got incredibly busy. But this thread I write nags me since. Won't try to complete it here. Once I may get my own PC to type, that can be accomplished. A more and fully detailed segment regarding the Jabbawock play involving my time will be upcoming, I promise.

How what the callbacks occured was when the head fall director and student director had us all those up for roles in the callbacks and witness who meshed with who in the family in short scenes from Jabberwock. This was the beginning of the end for me. I was Herman and performed it mostly with another student actor as Herman's brother Jaime and Roy and Mary Agnes from the family when we were waking up, wondering what the ruckus was going on inside the house. Later, I did my Doc Marlowe with another aspiration playing the protagonist. I admit I wasn't as good as Doc Marlowe than I was playing Herman than someone else. Had a little bit with Dr. Ridgeway screaming, "You can too! You can too!" I later asked a few that I liked was that good. And they said so. Afterwards, we were all lined up for each prospective characters and, always in character, state our personalities. Mine for Herman was a little silly that illict light chuckles. I honestly wanted Dr. Ridgeway more so--remember I wanted to just be a decent mid-level guy, not really craving the leading roles. Getting the leads was a bonus. And that was the end of those 2-day callbacks. Like a lot of auditioners, I felt confident about my chances. But I was so completely unaware of the mechanitions in place for high school drama casting, like subjectitivity, pecking order, and their vision for it.

Let me reiterate from the beginning from a while back. I went to the drama club NOT for the chicks but to meet artistically-minded people and deepen my understanding and mind. There's no you-just-don't-fit for education. I genuinely wanted to learn and build a strong foundation. Crave to know more and learn everything in whatever you aspire to do with acting in the fundamental level. I'm a big believer in that you learn when in those enviroments AND have the ample time, space, and outlet for them--not mostly on the sidelines unless you prefer it that way. But when that's not provided, it can damage some aspiring actors more than they realize.

After some mulling by those two in the couple of days, the full casting list was released one morning. I wasn't there when it happened but was later lured by my electronics media teacher--the annual musical teacher--about it. I went immediately, saw the cast list...and didn't get the roles I auditioned for and got even smaller ones that I even audition for. I'll save much of the following for next time, but suffice to say I was seething inside and thought I was robbed. Didn't think it was fair because I never auditioned them at all. I surely didn't handle it well and later took it out on the student director after school in front of several people. That, and there's the dishonestly misguided stance (to be polite) of "I don't play favorites".

To be continued