The Blonde in the Thunderbird Reviews- Page 2

[MargoChanning]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 1:49am

Yeah, $19.49 is probably close to a record in this day and age. And once this slate of reviews comes out, I doubt there'll be a line at the box office tomorrow.

Whether it makes it to September will depend on her producers (which, I believe, includes the Home Shopping Network) and how much money they are willing to lose and keep sinking into this project.

Updated On: 7/18/05 at 01:49 AM

[Marquise]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 1:54am

Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! The whims of the rich....

[MargoChanning]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 2:04am

Theatremania is Negative:

"Billed as "Blonde in T-bird" at the end of the American Graffiti cast credits, the future Three's Company star discovered that her 10-second role in the seminal George Lucas classic was all she needed to launch a mid-level Hollywood career. It also provided her with a handle for The Blonde in the Thunderbird, a show that's a little too grim for its seeming natural habitat -- a splashy, flashy nightclub room -- and a little too tacky for Broadway.

Wearing black tights to draw attention to her ThighMaster-ed thighs and a tight black top that isn't as forgiving of her swell but not perfect 58-year-old figure as she may think it is -- and with a battery-pack sitting just above her bottom like a low-slung papoose -- Somers recalls her early upbringing. In a series of histrionic sequences accompanied by Robert Ludwig's emphatic sound design, she demonstrates how she grew up in a home with a verbally abusive and relentlessly alcoholic father, how she fled that home for an early marriage, how she divorced to go off with her young son and with a propensity for buying designer blouses while running up bills she couldn't pay. Eventually, she lands the American Graffiti part and rehearses her one line -- "I love you" -- only to learn that she has but to mouth the words. On the verge of quitting the business, she's tapped to play Chrissie in Three's Company. The rest, as they say far too often and frequently overestimating it, is history.
_______________________________________________________________

Along with the other pop tunes and Broadway ditties that Somers delivers in a sure and strong voice, she might have thought to slot Billy Joel's "Shameless." She could belt that one while hauling out a large cart laden with items hawked during the 25 hours she mentions devoting weekly to the Home Shopping Network. After showcasing the Alan Hamel-marketed, Suzanne Somers-brand watches etc., she produces a ThighMaster and executes a few squeezes. Besides other genuine-entertainment infractions committed, Somers transforms Broadway into a handy HSN outlet.
http://www.theatermania.com/content/news.cfm/story/6348

[tagiunagi]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 2:07am

Am I the only one who thinks that this show will last, maybe, 2 weeks before they decide to close Somers' show for good?

[Tiny-Toon]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 2:09am

"Somers transforms Broadway into a handy HSN outlet."

ouch!

[MargoChanning]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 2:12am

I'll be VERY interested in seeing the box office figures that come out tomorrow. If the average ticket price is still hovering in the $20 region (and where can I get one of those tickets by the way?), then the only way this show stays open is if her wealthy husband and the Home Shopping Network decide to prop it up.

[Tiny-Toon]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 2:14am

Free tickets for this show are all around..
When I saw it, I didn't see one person that actually paid for his ticket.

[Marquise]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 2:14am

Maybe Cristina Applegate can play her in the movie version....

[tagiunagi]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 2:17am

They actually gave out free tickets to the show??? I was just thinking that they should do that to get some publicity from those theater goers, but if the reviews are that bad, I don't think people will even want to waste 2 hours of their lives seeing that mess of a show.

[MargoChanning]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 2:18am

Or Melanie Griffith

[MargoChanning]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 2:20am

Or maybe Suzanne can do the Melanie Griffith Story?

Or maybe Melanie can play her in the show?

Or maybe Suzanne can play ROXIE!!!!!

[Tiny-Toon]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 2:20am

tagiunagi, papering services are giving those free tickets

[tagiunagi]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 2:25am

I'm going to ignore that snide comment and ask you how the show was, if you did see it.

[MargoChanning]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 5:08am

Howard Kissell of the Daily News has one of the nicer reviews -- because, I think, he has never seen a Three's Company episode or a Thighmaster commercial. He's still mixed though:

"The style of "Blonde" — a reference to her brief appearance in "American Graffiti," which, in fact, I had seen — is more like a Vegas act or a brassy TV special than a piece of theater.

The stage, for example, is dominated by two large screens, which provide closeups of Somers. In a gigantic sports arena or a huge casino showroom, such screens might be useful, but in a relatively small theater they only weaken our focus and diminish any sense of intimacy.
_______________________________________________________________

I came away finding Somers an endearing and courageous woman. But I wished that she was really sharing her story with us rather than turning it into hard-sell showbiz."

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/story/329096p-281291c.html

[Marquise]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 5:30am

Barry and Fran please take notice and cast Suzanne as "Roxie Hart" before she heads back to L.A.

Love,
Marquise

[ken8631]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 8:29am

Saw it last week (free tickets from Theatremania). It was OK, but no way would I have paid full price for it.

[Avigdor]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 9:14am

well this website is full of some very well adjusted people..people who have never had heartache, abusive relationships and self esteem issues which can be quite damaging.
isnt that amazing congratuations to all of you for such blessed lives.

now on to reality...if you saw the show and really listened...it wasnt meant to be, as it was, a special event..and it was.
take a moment and relate some of her experiences to your life..and whether she is a great singer or not..she was sincere, she was honest and one of the most comfortable performers i have ever seen on stage. so for those of you who have griped about this repeatedly..take a moment and find some positive...maybe you are suffering from low self esteem

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 9:24am

it wasnt meant to be, as it was, a special event..and it was.

Avigdor, you're my new favorite poet. I'm still trying to deconstruct the above line from your verse.

[Avigdor]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 9:57am

sorry edited out "standard broadway show"
but thanks for the criticism

[ken8631]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 10:08am

It was just ok. Seemed a lot like more like a therapy session for her rather than a broadway show. Can't complain too much since I had free tickets though. It was actually better than I thought it would be.

[Corine2]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 10:22am

I feel bad for Somers, but the reviews are kind and accurate.
I felt captive and there was no intermission.
It was agony.
Mrs Hamel should be proud of herself for doing well but her show does nothing to help her. When she sang "IF I ONLY HAD A BRAIN" It was really embarrassing.
I was embarrassed for her.
Somers can sing and act but her show is a waste of time and very difficult to watch. Hope it closes soon and she can do something to show her skills as a performer.

[Auggie27]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 10:42am

Actually, Margo, wouldn't the critics have been kinder if she'd attempted Roxie? I'm thinking that Melanie would've received a similar review had she opted to tell the story of pills and collagen. Brantley and others embraced her for taking artistic risks, not assuming her tale was stage-worthy. As many here opine, the bizarre nature of this endeavor is further proof that celebrities so often insulate themselves from the real world of the marketplace. They mistakenly assume their story is ... well, a story.

I thought Isherwood rather brilliantly summed up that syndrome:

"Her story proves the peculiar truth that a victory over low self-esteem often comes at the price of a swan-dive into narcissism."

Updated On: 7/18/05 at 10:42 AM

[PalJoey]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 11:05am

I'm seeing it (for free) on Thursday.

I can't WAIT to hear her sing "Fifty Percent"!

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 11:23am

Free tickets for this show are all around..
When I saw it, I didn't see one person that actually paid for his ticket.

So NOBODY has any excuse to miss this!

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 7/18/05 at 11:28am

well this website is full of some very well adjusted people..people who have never had heartache, abusive relationships and self esteem issues which can be quite damaging.
isnt that amazing congratuations to all of you for such blessed lives.

I had really bad hemorrhoids once but I didn't subject an audience to "Life is Just a Bowl of Cherries" while I was taking a sitz bath. If a crappy life is all that is required to put on a successful show we would be standing in line for "Grover's Corner Yenta: The Musical!"