The Most Asinine Thing Said

[BillFinn]

Posted: 11/19/03 at 9:33pm

Have you ever gone to a performance, and people sitting around you or while you're walking out have said the most ignorant thing about the show?

It happened to me twice. Once when I went to Aida, Act II had just begun and the light came up on Amneris and this guy behind me says outloud "Woah, how did she appear like that?" The second time was coming out of the Into the Woods revival and this elderly man said to his wife "So the moral of the story is Jack, the killer, gets away with his crime?"

[JoizeyActor]

Posted: 11/19/03 at 9:37pm

This wasn't on Broadway, but I went to see a community production of "Joseph...", and the Mrs. Potiphar was slighty overweight, not fat, just really full in the chest area. But some old woman behind me told the woman next to her, "Oh God, look how fat she is!" (And that old woman was no spring chicken) And my friend was slightly overweight beside me, and that really pissed her off, and she was about to turn around and say something like: "Excuse me, but that's my sister" or something, but unfortunately she didn't.

Lol, but then again, that same friend also made comments that Felicia Finley didn't have a good voice in AIDA after the first number...

Hmm, okay, maybe they weren't completely "asinine", but still... Updated On: 11/19/03 at 09:37 PM

[Mr Roxy]

Posted: 11/19/03 at 9:39pm

My wife overheard in the ladies room of "Jane Eyre" the following: I never thought of it as this dark. What did this woman think Jane Eyre was - an f****** musical comedy ?

[BillFinn]

Posted: 11/19/03 at 9:43pm

Oh Joizey, your friend and I really need to have a little chat. Felicia Finley happens to be my favorite Amneris.

[JohnPopa]

Posted: 11/19/03 at 9:45pm

I was watching a community production of 'West Side Story' when, right at the finale, at the most intense moment possible someone leaned over and said 'Maria has a big ass.'

[JoizeyActor]

Posted: 11/19/03 at 9:45pm

Lol, talk with her, not me! I loved Felicia Finley. She drooled on my Playbill after the show -- I cherish it!!

[StateOfJade]

Posted: 11/19/03 at 10:02pm

During 'Man of La Mancha' when Marin Mazzie first comes out, this guy said 'Wow, HELLO push-up bra."

[JoizeyActor]

Posted: 11/19/03 at 10:05pm

Lol, awww!

[ShbrtAlley44]

Posted: 11/19/03 at 11:27pm

I think my three favorites were said by a woman at the stage door of the revival of Into the Woods.

1. While looking at a poster of John McMartin outside the theater: "Is that the father from Frasier?"

2. To Vanessa Williams: "My Gawd, you look SO MUCH BIGGER onstage!"

3. Woman to Gregg Edelman: "Were you the cow?"
Gregg: "Uh, no, I was the prince."
Woman: "Oh." *turns around disgustedly*

[bestofbroadway]

Posted: 11/19/03 at 11:37pm

Saw a production of Follies recently and at the end of the show the actors did not bow but simply came onto the stage and stared out at the audience. No one bowed. Many of the women were in tears, it was a beautiful moment. As I was leaving I heard I woman say "That was so rude...how arrogant...why can't they just bow." Talk about ignorant.

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 11/19/03 at 11:41pm

I'm sure I'll remember some great ones later, but one thing that disgusted me was the fact that people actually sent in letters complaining about the nudity in W;t when the Alley did it. The nudity at the end of that play is the most beautiful, innocent, sublime image.

[Jaynrand]

Posted: 11/20/03 at 7:34am

Didn't hear it, but I remember reading that after one performance of DEATH OF A SALESMAN, a woman turned to her husband: "Why didn't he just go to Household Finance and get a loan?"

[WindyCityActor]

Posted: 11/20/03 at 8:23am

I was in an enironmental staging of "Bent" several years ago. And an audience member left during intermission, and later wrote a letter complaining that he left because he suffered a "stress attack."

I guess "Barefoot in the Park" wasn't playing in town.

Michael

[rlbgbc]

Posted: 11/20/03 at 8:29am

I did this production of GODSPELL in the late 80s. The set, instead of being a chain link fence or whatever, was scaffolding -- you know, like painters stand on. The color scheme of the set was very Peter Max-ish -- a burst of hues.

During the crucifixion scene, after we'd done all that writhing around, etc., we were in our prone positions to begin the "Long Live God" sequence. The music stopped, and there was this pregnant pause before we started. Right at that time, during dead silence, we heard this little old lady in the second row unwrap a mint, then lean over to her friend and say: "where are they now?" Her friend, apparently aurally challenged, whispered (so she thought -- it was really said at full voice) "There up there by them ORANGE bars!"

You know, it's really hard to celebrate the resurrection of Christ with tears streaming down your face from laughter.

[lensman55]

Posted: 11/20/03 at 9:17am

I had a book about the making of "Oh, Calcutta!" The woman writing the book claimed that one person in the audience asked; "Which one is Kathrine Hepburn?" thinking she was at the production of "Coco."

[lc1965]

Posted: 11/20/03 at 10:04am

Well, it's probably not fair to blame kids, but teenagers ought to know better than to look at a stage scrim during walk-in & ask, "Is this a movie?"

And, one of my pet peeves is when people assume an understudy is inferior. For example, during 'Kiss of the Spider Woman' Chita Rivera took a 2-week vacation. A man came up to me & said, "She's not as good as Chita." I replied, "Oh! You've seen the show & liked it so much you came back. That's great!" He said, "Noooo, I'm just assuming." For the record, I LOVED Chita, but Carol Lawrence was better than any replacement. She was outstanding.

[TEACHEROFTHEATER]

Posted: 11/20/03 at 10:14am

During the national tour of Bye, Bye, Birdie a few years back, Tommy Tune revealed himself for the total moron he truly is.

During the curtain call (while the audience was wildy applauding) he said very clearly and loudly to Lenora Nemetz(although we were in the first row)

"They usually stand up."

It confirmed for me that Mr. Tune's stupidity is only exceeded by the boredom provided by the shows he directs.