To suggest that one knows and can generalize about every celebrity is foolish. Everyone is different. Furthmore, if you know anything about actors you know that many of them are very shy and withdrawn off stage. I have worked and lived in and around the theater all my life and went to school with other actors. Many of us were attracted to the stage because it allowed us to 'be ourselves' or to express things we could not express socially. Lane IS a very animated interview on talk shows and if you have seen him in a more subtle interview format like Charlie Rose or something more serious, he is very intelligent about his art.
He is famously uncomfortable with adoration, fans and the stage door but he does his job. The added consideration with Lane or ANY actor is that NY theater allows fans unfettered access to actors unlike TV or movies where fans are buffered. NY theater actors understand the stage door obligation but it has become very commercialized in the past 15 years and people now want photos, and want the actors to sign 3-4 items which appear the next day on eBay. People also show up to get signatures when they didn't even attend the performance. It is no longer a crowd of erudite, educated theater goers and even if you are such a person you are lost in the crowd of others who may be rude or gush like an 8 year old at a birthday party.
All of that said, no audience member should expect to be the best friend of the actor. Say what you have to say, get the autograph and let the actor move on. They owe you a good performance for the price of the ticket...not a huge smile or the right to take them home and introduce them to your family and friends. If you don't think they are friendly enough, you may have to adjust your expectations. Of course, every PERSON is different. So Broderick is different than Lane, Glover is different than Goodman who is different than Irwin. They are people. Let them be themselves, be happy you got the chance to say hello and don't place unreasonable expectations on them. They may be tired, sick, hungry or just in a bad mood or maybe they are just SHY and uncomfortable with strangers. Yeah, weird, huh?
"Life is a lesson in humility"