Who is to blame for the break up in "The last Five Years?"- Page 2

[SporkGoddess]

Posted: 5/19/08 at 1:11am

I don't think it was just that he was successul. I think that it would have been okay if he had been more actively supportive of her (he never even went to see her show, for instance) and less concerned with flirting with women at parties. For instance, she is very clearly disappointed that she has to tour for the summer, and all he does is tell her that, yeah, it sucks for her, but at least he's doing well and she should be happy for him. Jamie was hugely selfish and thought very highly of himself. I don't think I could put up with him, either, and I'm not struggling like Cathy was.

Updated On: 5/19/08 at 01:11 AM

[Ourtime992]

Posted: 5/19/08 at 1:34am

I've looked at love from both sides now...

A few years ago when I was struggling with some success in my career demanding a lot of my time, and my wife making the same counter-demand, I really saw it from Jamie's point of view. Cathy is insecure, overwhelmed, and never happy with herself. Jamie's presence in her life is hugely important to her, but she's jealous of how easily success has come to him. Unless he gives up some of that, she won't be happy no matter how well she does herself. As is the case in a lot of relationships, one partner wants more of the other than he/she is willing or able to give. Eventually, that takes a huge toll on the relationship. Jamie sought solace from her stifling demands in the arms of one of his groupies. And honestly, there was a time when I didn't really blame him.

That having been said, Jamie crossed the line and cheated on her. Whatever else happened to lead him to that point, he was the one who broke the most essential promise of their marriage. Ultimately it all comes down to that. JRB wrote the show to be ambiguous about the blame, but I think you do relationships and commitment a real disservice if you talk yourself out of laying the blame at Jamie's feet in the end.

[SporkGoddess]

Posted: 5/19/08 at 10:45am

That's fair. I can agree with that.

[Eponine3]

Posted: 5/19/08 at 12:49pm

I think the true beauty of this piece is the fact that there is no clear cut "Victim" or "Villian" It is a very true to life and human story of two people who both played a part in destroying their relationship.

Cathy is resentful of Jamie's success because she was struggling to so hard. She won't go with him to parties because she doesn't want to be seen as "The Little Woman.. on the arm of a genius" she wants a name for herself independent of him. She is wrong because she can 't see through her own disappointments to be supportive of her husband.

Yet on the other hand Jamie doesn't help this situation because he lets all of the success go to his head. He becomes arrogant and full of himself believing that he is just above everyone and everything and can no longer even attempt to relate to her struggle. Yes his final act of cheating on her is the low point.. but it is clearly laid out that there are many contributing factors in the relationship that allowed it to get to that point.. from both sides.

I think the layout is brilliant with her starting from the end and him from the beginning. It is very telling of the characters that they are only ever "insync" on their wedding day. That is the only time in their relationship that they are ever able to reach across the divide and completely come together as one.

These are two people who wanted and expected very different things out of life but yet for that one moment they were both in agreement about what they wanted and how they felt.

[JBSinger]

Posted: 5/19/08 at 4:14pm

I put most of the blame on Jamie. He gave into temptation. He was too self-centered. He wasn't ready and was not understanding enough of Cathy's feelings.
BUT, Cathy wasn't together enough and happy enough with herself as a person to be in that type of relationship. Yes, she worked at it, but if everything else in your life is in the crapper, it makes it that much harder.

Ultimately, they were at different points in their lives (maturity, self-knowledge, career) to really have a chance at lasting.

Great songs though!

[into_the_woods2]

Posted: 5/19/08 at 7:00pm

i think it was jaime's fault...he is the one who really threw away the relationship when he cheated on cathy

BUT i think they are both self centered, sometimes even though I blame the ending of the relationship on jaime i like him more

[SporkGoddess]

Posted: 5/19/08 at 9:11pm

A lot of people like Jamie. He's very charismatic even if he's a jerk.

[sweetestsiren]

Posted: 5/19/08 at 10:01pm

Other threads with interesting opinions on this topic:

https://forum.broadwayworld.com/readmessage.cfm?boardid=1&boardname=bway&thread=869820#1778890
https://forum.broadwayworld.com/readmessage.cfm?boardid=1&boardname=bway&thread=962335#3515681

[jenna2]

Posted: 5/19/08 at 10:32pm

I agree with those who believe it is both Jamie and Cathy's fault. Yes, he spent too much time focusing on his career and flirting with other women, while she was never really true to herself ("A Part of That"), but perhaps it was just time that they drifted apart. Had they been paying more attention to what was going on outside of their own respective life, maybe one of them would have noticed it slipping, but neither was willing to do that.

That said, after the first few listens, I was left with "that...(ahem) jerk!" feelings towards Jamie before I recognized that.

[alliez92092]

Posted: 5/20/08 at 7:28pm

I don't think we can say that Jamie doesn't care that he hurt Cathy. In I Could Never Rescue You, he acknowledges that he's "not the only one who's hurting here."