Profile for Biggins

I got sick in a theatre recently. I went to a reading of the self-proclaimed "fabulous composer" Scott Alan's unproduced (and seemingly never to be finished) PIECES. I felt the urge to retch about two minutes into the first song. That urge became overwhelming and I rushed from the theatre with vomit streaming out of my mouth. It was terrible. Do not go to a Scott Alan reading unless you have refrained from eating or have waited at least two hours after your last meal. Don't say that I didn't ...

Anthony, how do you answer charges that you are a "close, personal friend" of wannabe-composer Scott Alan?

If she and her hunky brother Mike don't sing a romantic duet together then I'll eat my hat!

Clearly, this is a sham. A Shaiman sham. I've heard your "50 Checks" and it sounds suspiciously similar to the song "Fifty Cheques" from the little known 1951 Ukranian musical "Catch As Catch Can." The story of a young man who blusters his way into the various positions within the Communist party while leaving a trail of unpaid debts. Obviously, the copyright has expired.

I agree but only if the "A" is for AWFUL!!! You know, I been comin' down hard on Sheekala but my man been tellin it like it is. This was a total ripoff.

Sheekala? Who is this Sheekala? He sometimes claims to be an employee of Ralph Lauren. Other times, he asserts that he is a casting director. I know who you are Sheekala and you are goin' down, Dutchie-style.