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I killed the off-topic board AGAIN!

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#1

I killed the off-topic board AGAIN!

Why does this always happen to me?
I post on like 3 or 4 threads here, when things seem to be moving along nicely.
Then, NOTHING.

Denial sets in.
I sit at my computer.
I reload the page.
I continue to reload it in an obsessive-compulsive manner.
I half-heartedly browse the main board for a couple minutes.
I begin talking to myself to pass the time.
I check the off-topic board again.
MAYBE one post. Sometimes two, if I'm lucky.

Then I respond to the new posts.
And I wait.
Nothing.
I wander over to the chat room, wondering if that's where all the people have gone.
But it's usually vacant.

I think, "hey, it's like 2:30am. I bet no one's even on."
But after checking the "Who's Online" link, and discovering that 26 people are indeed on this site, suddenly that argument falls apart.
The problem must be me.

I start feeling guilty.
Am I posting too long of posts and it takes people a long time to read?
Yeah, that's it.
They're still reading.
But it's been 15 minutes...
They're not THAT long.
Am I posting too often, and they're sick of me?
I suppose it's possible, what with the OCD behavior and all.
Am I the most boring person on the planet?
That's probably the most likely explanation.
I'm boring and they hate me.

Then I feel really sucky and contemplate signing off.
I start to comfort myself with lies...
"Don't worry, they just haven't figured out how to respond, because you wrote the PERFECT post. Yeah, that's it. Perfect. No one likes to follow a great act, right? Right. Good. Okay"
(Did I mention that I talk to myself?)

Eventually, in one of the 3 minute breaks I take between hitting the "refresh" button, I fall asleep on top of my laptop, and end up checking the boards again, as soon as I wake up (you know, around 1pm).
By that time, the threads that I posted on have been responded to about once or twice and are laying dormant at the bottom of the page, below such new and amazing titles as "HOT as Hades", and "Restaurant RIP", that do not apply to a mid-westerner like me.
And then I realize that I'm pathetic and have no life, so I push my computer away and go back to sleep.


The end.


(~This post dedicated to ckeaton, who will, in all likelihood, be the only person that reads it and actually doesn't want to shoot me afterwards. Everyone else will probably want to put both me and themselves out of my misery. There goes my paranoia detector again. I need a mojito.~)
I starred in a short film called Magnetic Personality. Check it out!
#3

re: I killed the off-topic board AGAIN!

That was brilliant. Absolutly brilliant. I mean... The way the opening lines snagged me and convinced me to scroll down. And the way you transposed your anguish onto the reader. i almost felt OCD myself. You are a gifted poster. Without question
Its Aberqurque NM for me. Speaking Spanish. Be Back September 06.
#4

re: I killed the off-topic board AGAIN!

TWO RESPONSES!!!!

Oh wow, people!
I went in another room for like half a second.
Ahhhh.
That felt so good.

(And POSITIVE responses, at that! I needed that.)

P.S. Sorry, Bobo. Didn't mean to frighten you into living my OCD. Purely unintentional, I assure you.
I starred in a short film called Magnetic Personality. Check it out!
#6

re: I killed the off-topic board AGAIN!

Refresh off-topic board.
Nothing new.

What to do...

I check my e-mail.
Nothing new.
No one but me e-mails at 3:00 am.

I get the brilliant idea to read The Glamorous Life
Suddenly, I re-discover that it is the weekend and that there is no new episode.
I proceed to re-read all previous episodes.
I consider making a chart to keep all the characters straight.
I realize that to do so would be pathetic.
Besides, I am not weak.
By sheer tenacity, I WILL remember their names.

I ponder whether or not to check automated horoscope.
I don't actually believe in those things.
I check it anyway.
It's vague, and I doubt it's right.
Why did I check it again?

Move on to settings.
To change profile, or not to change profile?
Nah.
Maybe just the color.
That's fun.
Change the icon?
I hold back.
Changing it too often confuses people.
And I already changed it once today.
But, should I change it back?
Let it go, ~ff~. LET IT GO!!!

On to upcoming CDs.
Nothing new.
I know the list.

Reread my past posts.
Check for typos that I might be able to edit.
Editing is a good waste of time.
And in some ways, an art.
Can't change anything that people would notice you changing.

Check the board.
A post from etoile about manners?
Alas.
I think etoile hates me.

Check PM box, even though there was no alert.
(You never know.)
But alas, only old things.
Quick laugh when I see a PM titled "naked writhing bodies".
lol.
(It was a joke, of course. But I did jump a bit when I first got it.)
Tally up how many PMs I've gotten from various people.
I don't delete them ever.
Have to see who's winning, you know.
(It's still the same person, by a lot, even though they haven't sent me one in awhile. Actually, it's the poster who sent me my first ever PM. Although my biggest fan is catching up.)

Check horoscope again.
It's after 3...
What time zone are RobD and Craig in?
Did it already change to tomorrow's?
Should I keep checking back?
Oh, duh, they're New Yorkers.
It's already tomorrow's.
Darn.
I check again anyway.
IT'S DIFFERENT!!!
And it makes slightly more sense this time.
I check again to make sure I'm not just getting random responses.
Same.
Aha!
It changed for the day after all!!!
(Why am I so excited about this?)

Reread threads I've already read.
Try to come up with witty things with which to respond.
But I've got nothing.
After all, I already passed on responding to these once.
I respond anyway, trying to breathe life into the board.
Maybe it'll prompt someone to say something about how dumb I am.
At least that's something.

I consider posting on top of things that I'm already the most recent post on, but decide against it.
If it didn't work the first time, there's no point in getting pathetic.

I give up, and type this.
And I send this documentation of nothingness into the void, for your subsequent viewing pleasure.
Although, to be honest, I'll probably read it more than you will.
Have to check for typos.
I starred in a short film called Magnetic Personality. Check it out!

Updated On: 6/13/04 at 03:27 AM

#7

re: I killed the off-topic board AGAIN!

i send emails at all hours of the day or night, but usually to my boy Matt.

<-- you know, that guy.

i get annoyed when the internet slows down at night too, but im off to bed. its been a long day, gnight.
#9

re: i killed the off-topic board again!

wow, this thread is so seinfeldian.
r.i.p. marco, my guardian angel.

...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty

pray to st. jude

i'm a sonic reducer

he was the gimmicky sort

fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective
#11

re: i killed the off-topic board again!

you say that as if seinfeldian was a bad thing...
r.i.p. marco, my guardian angel.

...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty

pray to st. jude

i'm a sonic reducer

he was the gimmicky sort

fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective
#12

re: i killed the off-topic board again!

Well, it's hard to be certain.
Your post wasn't really the one I was referring to.
I just saw NewYorkUniq's now, I didn't read etoile's the first time around (but am now CONVINCED that etoile hates me).
As for "Seinfeldian", whether that's a compliment or not depends on the mindset of the person using it.

I starred in a short film called Magnetic Personality. Check it out!
#13

re: i killed the off-topic board again!

I am a big fan of stream of consciousness. My preferred method of tangential thought in posting, though, is the parenthetical remark (of which I am, I believe, the undisputed king).
#14

re: i killed the off-topic board again!

i know what you mean, floweryfriend. i posted a review on the regular board and all i got back was a comment that i was wrong becasue "wtf? wicked should have beaten avenue q!"

very sad for myself right now re: i killed the off-topic board again!

but if any of you feel like reading it... well... IT'S NOT TOO LATE!
#16

re: i killed the off-topic board again!

That's some insightful writing there ~ff~.

I think some of our more cynical posters read it, and seeing themselves in some of the actions that you've labeled pathetic. Which it's not.

However... There's at least 5-10 things in both posts that I've done several times...

And between the two of us, we're pretty cool...right?
Right!!?
:)


Hamlet's father.
#17

re: i killed the off-topic board again!

No one is posting because they are to busy being vicious hussys in their day to day lives.
HUSSY POWER! ------ HUSSY POWER!
#19

re: i killed the off-topic board again!

I hope you're right, Dame.
And yes, I know that I too should be out being a hussy.
But I have a curfew.
So here I remain.

And yes, ckeaton.
I think we're both pretty darn cool.
But I knew I had a problem when, in the chatroom, Jose' said "you want immeadiate posting gratification?" (or something like that... I might be paraphrasing. Whatever he said was kinda cute, but it made me come to the realization that I am a loser.)

I starred in a short film called Magnetic Personality. Check it out!
#20

re: i killed the off-topic board again!

Ah, here it is.
Flowery's Mona Lisa. Her Citizen Kane. Her...Sweeney Todd.
Great art is never appreciated during it's time, and this proves it. re: i killed the off-topic board again!
#21

re: i killed the off-topic board again!

hahah that's brilliant. I've never read that and thats almost exactly how i feel and act..~FF~ you're not alone. re: i killed the off-topic board again!
"Chicago is it's own incredible theater town right there smack down in the middle of the heartland. What a great city! I can see why Oprah likes to live there!" - Dee Hoty :-D
#22

re: i killed the off-topic board again!

Truly, no one is alone.

But in this case, really, you're not.
"One no longer loves one's insight enough once one communicates it."

The opposite of creation isn't war, it's stagnation.
#23

re: i killed the off-topic board again!

No matter how psychotic are you feeling, FF.
we love you the same way.

re: i killed the off-topic board again!

btw. I use to hit the refresh button a lot of times too!


Nobody expects the spanish inquisition!
#24

re: i killed the off-topic board again!

FF - You're not alone!!

And don't forget - you love Otis, so you're allowed to join the smoking room!!
"Two drifters off to see the world. There's such a lot of world to see. . ."
#25

re: i killed the off-topic board again!

ive done most of that stuff tons of times re: i killed the off-topic board again! and dont worry flowery everyone loves you, i know that you read the thread about favorite posters

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