BDSM CAN be a part of a healthy relationship. The relationship depicted in the books is far from healthy. In the film, before they even sleep together, he buys her a new laptop and has it "installed?" without asking. He takes her car, sells it and buys her one he finds appropriate. He chooses her clothes. She goes to visit her mother in Savannah, GA (from Seattle) and he shows up, uninvited. He spanks her for rolling her eyes and leaves. She's left crying. He goes the full package on her in his "play room," and she is in hell. She hates it. She won't let him touch her afterward. Then she leaves him. It's not a mutually beneficial relationship. It's what he requires if she wants to be with him. There's no love involved, though. He's very up front on that one. She begs him for more (though God knows why, because money is about the only thing he has going for him) over and over. Apparently book three ends after Anastasia discovers she is pregnant and this, for some reason, makes him no longer need the BDSM stuff. He needed it because he was abused as a child or some nonsense. It's just all around bad.
I would prefer my daughter read this than buy into the old princess stuff, though. We try to stick to the modern princess stories. She tends to lean toward Mickey and Minnie, though.
Pretty pretty please don't you ever ever feel like you're less than
f**ckin' perfect!