2 N.J. teens labeled sex offenders for life after 'horseplay' incident- Page 3

[Reginald Tresilian]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 2:32pm

Reminds me of Chris Durang's brilliant line "Seven Brides for Twelve Angry Men."

[ghostlight2]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 3:58pm

Am I Sweeney or Klugman?

[JohnBoy2]

Posted: 7/23/11 at 5:59pm

I'd like to know what the "victims" of sad "horseplay" feel about what happened to them. I think that actually matters.

[trentsketch]

Posted: 7/24/11 at 9:40am

As someone who had similar crap happen to him in high school, I can only speak from experience here as a victim. I got absolutely no help from the school board and was threatened with suspension for doctored up charges if I went to the police. There were two teenage boys who constantly found it necessary to grab me on the ass or genitals and ask if I liked it. They were convinced I was gay because I was heavily involved in the theater program. Whenever they were called into the principal's office, they said they were just fooling around with me and I was playing along. Then I would be yelled at for falsely accusing the bullies even if teachers or other students came in as witnesses. I dealt with that for four years.

If the victim stepped forward and said there was a sexual element to these crimes, I'm more likely to believe the victim. Being a bully in high school is all about the spin. They probably knew they weren't going to get away with it once the charges were filed. Then they started spinning. You don't know if they were calling this kid gay or telling him to do something sexual. Bullies will lie when they know they're caught and get away with it because "they're only kids."

Until I know what the victim said about this, I'm not willing to say being labeled a lifelong sex offender isn't an appropriate punishment.

[artscallion]

Posted: 7/24/11 at 10:00am

You have to be careful with basing the punishment on what the victim thinks in these cases. Victims are often not objective. And this lack of objectivity can go in either direction. Many victims are in denial, are unaware or have suppressed the emotional damage done by these acts. In particular, if the victim happens to also be gay and coming to terms with this, he may have confused and conflicted feelings of both humiliation AND excitement by the assault. Victims of sexual assault can also become enamored of their abusers and may not be able to clearly see it as abuse.

Look at victims of spousal abuse. They often rationalize and justify the abuser's acts. And conversely, a humiliated and angry kid who is tired of being teased may exaggerate what happened and how he feels about what happened just to get the other kid in trouble.

The bottom line is that the abuser had no idea how the kid would feel about it when he did it. The act remains the act, no matter how the victim reacts to it. Otherwise, you're saying that a rapist could jump out of an ally, drag a stranger in and violently rapes her as she struggles against him. Later, because she happens to be an abused woman already in life with low self esteem and a violent father who convinces her she deserves whatever pain she encounters in life, she decides the attack wasn't that bad after all. Suddenly, he's not a rapist?

[LaurenB]

Posted: 7/24/11 at 11:26am

"Victims of sexual assault can also become enamored of their abusers and may not be able to clearly see it as abuse."

That is so true. They may not even remember the abuse. A coping mechanism is to just shut down the memories.

[JohnBoy2]

Posted: 7/24/11 at 3:24pm

I don't think the punishment should be based on what the victim thinks, I'm just curious to know if they thought it was "horseplay". The punishment should be based on the law.

[JohnBoy2]

Posted: 7/24/11 at 3:24pm

I don't think the punishment should be based on what the victim thinks, I'm just curious to know if they thought it was "horseplay". The punishment should be based on the law.