In no particular order
1. George Bush
2. J-Ho
3. Rosie O'Donnell
4. Leona Helmsley
5. Richard Hatch
6. Johnny "Fairplay"
7. Jonathan from "Amazing Race 5"
8. Star Jones
9. That woman on Bill Maher who says that gay people are responsible for the destruction of America, as well as family values (That bitch!)
10/11. Those two editors from the NY Post who bought a Lion on the net to prove a point, and because the cub was sick, abandoning it at a shelter, just because they couldn't handle the responsibility of their mistake.
12. The editor who put the headline "A Funeral to Die For" on the cover of the NY Post after Aaliyah died, and then had the nerve to say that Aaliyah wasn't big enough a star to have such an elaborate funeral.
13. My ex who worships George Bush
14. Jesse Helms
15. Jerry Falwell
16. Macauley Culkin
17./18/19. The writers (or directors/producers) who butchered White Noise, Gothika, and The Grudge
20. Melba Moore (She stole money from an AIDS fund back when she was on welfare)
21. Sebastien Bach
22. Jim Baker
23. The other evangelist who slept with hookers
24. Any evangelist
25. Charles Manson
26. Marrissa Tomei
27. Little Orphan Annie
28. Mark Kudish (He once told me that I would never make it)
29. Michael Eisner (Friggin prick)
30. Kenneth Star
31. O.J. Simpson
32. Jenny Jones
33. John Edwards (The "Crossing Over" B.S. artist)
34. Dr. Phil
35. Tawanna Brawley
36. The guy who killed Jennifer Levin
37. Joey Buttafuco
38. John Bobbitt
39./40. Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen
41. Ashley Simpson
42. Jessica Simpson
43. Cora from the Real World
44. Veronica from Road Rules
45. That guy from Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire who jilted his fiance
46. Raven Simone
47. Rush Limbaugh
48. Nancy Reagan
49. The Son of Sam (David somethin')
50. Condaleza (sp) Rice (With all the money she makes, she can't fix her teeth?)
"Do you know what pledge time is, Andrew"? said the PBS Executive.
"Yes", Lloyd Webber replied. "My 50th birthday special must be one program that gets done a lot."
"No", mused the man from PBS heedlessy. "Not so much. Our Stephen Sondheim Carnegie Hall concert. That's a big one."
Spoons, forks and knives seemed suddenly to suspend their motion in horror, all around the table.
Updated On: 1/22/05 at 12:45 AM
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