Bad Theatre Stories — Page 2

I'm watching 'West Side Story' with a friend of mine who a) has no tact and b) doesn't know how to whisper. So we're at the end of the show -- right at the climax of the whole thing and he bellows (thinking he's whispering but really piercing the silence) "MARIA HAS A BIG ASS."

There was a straight guy in 'West Side Story?' :)

To continue the trend of WSS stories:

Did a production of this in stock in Texas. The director/choreographer had done the revival (you know, the one with Debbie Allen as "Anita") on Broadway, and she was so INTO IT. The veritable WSS goddess...in her own mind.

Anyway, we were rehearsing the death scene. No blank guns yet, just a rehearsal prop. Tony enters, looks around for Maria. She step out of the shadows. He runs toward her. The guy playing Chino (yes, that's his name...Chino) step out upstage R, as Tony runs into her arms. He raises his gun and says....


"BANG!"



Well, you'da thought someone had committed a felony. The director went off on this unbelievvvvvvable diatribe: "'Bang'? The most serious moment of the show, and all you can say is 'Bang'?? That turned this moment into a travesty, do you hear me? In the future, when you do this scene without the actual prop, the word to designate firing the gun will be 'SHOT'? Do you hear me??? 'SHOT.' I....never....want.....to....hear....the....word....BANG....again. EVER." And on and on. Kinda like a Joan Crawford moment.

Well, this poor kid was so embarrassed at being dressed down in front of everyone that tears came to his eyes, but he held it together. They run the scene again. And Chino, still smarting and still rattled from his tongue lashing, steps out again and says....

SH...er, BANG!


God's honest truth. Another convulsive moment for me for which, yes, I got a dressing down as well.

But me not care. Me talk purty.

Ok - my turn

I was an a Community theatre production of "Carnival" - that 'other' musical/comedy with puppets. I played Dr. Glass -- the out-or-town lover of Rosalie who was also a veterinarian. The director thought it would be great fun for me to have live animals with me -- a duck in my medical bag, and a live rabbit in the pocket of my white lab coat. I would then pull them out as tokens of my affection to Rosalie. The director had seen too many Marx Brothers movies, I fear.

One performance, I reach into my bag to do my stuff to impress Rosalie, and the damned duck bites me. Hard. "FU..." I say and drop the duck as he scampers about the stage. I try to chase the duck and deliver my lines. The bunny must have known that something was up, and he decides to relieve his bladder while inside my white labcoat. So there I am, with a pinched finger, a pissed-off duck, and a yellow stain spreading across my costume. I found it hard to be charming and romantic then.

The adage is correct. Never perform with children and live animals. For the remainder of the run, I called the duck "Peking" and dreamt of plum sauce...

I went to this camp and we were doing a bunch of songs from diffirent show and right before my friend and this guy were about to do a duet from South pacific the guy decided to go outside and run laps on the track outside and luckily the director didn't find out and the guy came back on time to perform even though he was out of breath

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In a performance of "Crimes of the Heart".
One character throws chocolates at one point.
Later, a girl sat on a chair, not realizing a chocolate was on it.
She stood up, and the chocolate was stuck to her rear, hanging off of the pants.
She didn't know why the audience was cracking up.
She then sat on a desk, and her body heat proceeded to melt the chocolate into the fabric.

A different actress was supposed to sit in the chair a bit later, but saw some chocolate pieces on it, so sat on the desk instead.

By the end of the show, two of the three leads had huge chocolate stains on their butts.
And although the acting was great, I do not remember the plot from the play.
I was too intruiged by the chocolate.
Funniest thing I've ever seen.

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FloweryFriend, where was the 'poisoned boot' story from? My drama teacher told us the same story before, and I can't see this happening more than once anywhere.

robbiej, that dove story cracked me up!! I know I have at least one of these theater horror stories but I can't think of any right now..

Another West Side story (haha no pun intended)...
Final scene. Gun doesn't work. Guy pulls a knife that was a prop for another person and stabs Tony. Not as good as the poison boot, but apparently that gun causes a lot of trouble!
****
When I did the Wizard of Oz, during the tornado when I usually just run off stage and there was sound/fan and lighting effects, they decided to FLY the trees behind me. They rigged the trees and were flying them up and down, but NO ONE TOLD ME. I'm suprised I made it off stage alive!

From some production of "The Sound Of Music"
The Reverend Mother was played by an operatic soprano, who happened to have a very thick German accent.
A moment of dialogue from the show:

MARIA: Oh, Reverend Mother, I was afraid! There is something about him I can't face!
REVEREND MOTHER: What is it you can't face?

Apparently much hilarity was caused backstage by the Reverend Mother's accent in this scene:

MARIA: Oh, Reverend Mother , I was afraid! There is something about him I can't face!
REVEREND MOTHER: Vat iss it you ****-face?

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Another mike left on story

In my high school's first year, whatever character plays the bad guy went back stage to take a relieve some solid mass, during the show. His whole production, along with his comments about it, was broadcasted for everyone to hear. i dont remember how the actors handled it.

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haha i have a mic story...
middle of the dress rehearsal of "how to succeed in business without really trying" act one closer finch was just on with rosemary confessing their love, blah blah blah
he exits for frump to come in, and apparently he had to pee realllllllly bad, now he has a bad mouth lol
"holy f*ck i have to pee so f*cking bad!!! and my entrance is in like f*cking two seconds....sh*t i have to pee dude sh*t!!!"
rosemary and frump are horrified as the director gets on the PA system and calmly states in a very mellow voice
"now john, i dont care how f*cking bad you have to pee, don't do that in my show EVER!, thank you"