Broadway Matt... This is all I could come up with before my 9:30 meeting. It lacks cohesiveness and through-plot...
When the sun in morrow rises
I must seek a garment to hold my dong,
The great sword that my lover prizes,
Sheathed in cott'n a healthy schlong.
Thus cover'd Spike can do no harm,
To any knight or maiden willing,
Unless they show a bit of charm,
Then they're apt to get a filling.
But wherefore might I find a party?
Full of beautiful women n' men tonight,
where women are hot and men are hearty,
to BroadwayWorld.com, that august site.
Therefore it is cover'd from potential thiefs,
in a pair of design'r boxer-briefs.
Hamlet's father.