Can the Adults Please Smoke? Part 27 - It's a Brand New Day!- Page 72

[D2]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 2:26pm

Damn, you're fast.

[shira467]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 2:27pm

I..so many comments, but I shall refrain.

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 2:27pm

not always.

[D2]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 2:29pm

Only when it counts?

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 2:33pm

Who is unziping what? It is Friday!

[shira467]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 2:34pm

Something about pants and 10 foot poles. The usual.

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 2:36pm

Oh, SOMMS is pole dancing per usual!

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 2:38pm

it's a tough economy.

[D2]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 2:40pm

*bites tongue*

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 2:47pm

Seriously, this economy sucks! I cannot believe how late our regular clients are paying.

And, more layoffs everywhere.

[shira467]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 2:48pm

And it's why I am now more reliant on my godfathers than EVER before!

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 2:49pm

Ha ha ha ha ha ha

[D2]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 2:50pm

^^^^^^^^

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 2:52pm

Your sugar grand daddys!

[bdwaygirl]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 2:53pm

Oh brother.

[D2]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 2:54pm

Just for that, Brd:

These hilarious exchanges are from a book called 'Disorder in the American Courts'.

They were recorded verbatim and published by Court Reporters that had the torment of staying calm and remaining professional while these exchanges were actually taking place.


ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_________________________ ___________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you ****ting me?
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
W ITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 2:54pm

BWG, can you be my sugar mama? I am tired of paying for everything in house, I need a little help!

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 2:55pm

outa here, kids. Have a great weekend.

[shira467]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 2:56pm

I like those, Deet!

Oh, so godfathers...no shoes?

[bdwaygirl]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 3:00pm

brd, have you started hitting the bottle already?

Bye Somms! Have a good one!!

[D2]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 3:01pm

Shira, have you started hitting the bottle already?

Bye SOMMS. It's been vivid.

Hi Girly!

[bdwaygirl]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 3:03pm

Hiya Mr. Deet!

[DayDreamer]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 3:04pm

Hello adults! I hope everyone's well. Fighting a cold ... hopefully it won't turn to anything serious. Still need to find three men ... for the show. Good singing men are in such demand in this town!

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 3:04pm

Already? Does that assume that I will be hitting the bottle at some time in the future? Moi?

No, I will not even have a glass of wine at a luncheon if I have to return to the office. One of my partners gets smashed at lunch a few times a year - so innapropriate!

[D2]

Posted: 1/16/09 at 3:08pm

Three Singing Men. The mind reels at the possible comments to that.

I'm assuming you're looking for ILLYRIA cast members, DD? What I wouldn't give to play Sir Andrew Aguecheek!