Can the adults please smoke? (Pt.2)- Page 636
Can the adults please smoke? (Pt.2)
beacon1
Broadway Legend Joined: 1/31/04
#15875Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 3:28pmSure! If you need references for my work...just ask Patrick. Once he stops crying you should be able to understand him! :o)
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Patrick Wilson Fans --New "UnOfficial Fan Site". Come check us out!
#15876Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 3:29pm
If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course. Enjoy !
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Campfire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
NYadgal
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/18/04
#15877Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 3:34pmBoobs - where are you finding all these things today? LOL...
"Two drifters off to see the world. There's such a lot of world to see. . ."
#15878Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 3:41pm
Addy as a good friend once sent me every chuckle in her mailbox...so are other friends doing the same. 
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
NYadgal
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/18/04
#15879Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 3:42pmWhat fun friends you have!
"Two drifters off to see the world. There's such a lot of world to see. . ."
#15880Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 3:43pmYes..I'm very lucky. MWAH
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
#15881Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 3:45pm
Two Pots
An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots,
Each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck.
One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and
always delivered a full portion of water.
At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house,
the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the
woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.
Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.
But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection,
and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.
After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter
failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.
I am ashamed of myself,
because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all
the way back to your house."
The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are
flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?
That's because I have always known about your flaw,
so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path,
and every day while we walk back, you water them.
For two years I have been able to pick these
beautiful flowers to decorate the table.
Without you being just the way you are, there would
not be this beauty to grace the house."
Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the
cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together
so very interesting and rewarding.
You've just got to take each person for what they are and
look for the good in them.
To all of my crackpot friends whom I love...have a great day
and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path.
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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#15882Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 3:47pm
Aww, Boobs - that was terrific!
Beacs - are you sure Patrick hasn't arranged to implant some kind of tracking device on you so he can keep tabs 24/7?
"Not a day goes by..."
#15883Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 3:55pmSpeaking of a crackpot friend..how are you Aisle?
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
NYadgal
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/18/04
#15884Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 3:56pm
*gives Boobs a big hug*
and tags him at the same time! HA!
"Two drifters off to see the world. There's such a lot of world to see. . ."
#15885Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 3:57pmCrazier than usual today, my friend... but all the meetings are done, so now I can actually start my work (psst... "work" is code, you understand!)
"Not a day goes by..."
#15886Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 4:01pmI liked BitterBetty - at least the little I saw of her/him... what's up with that?
"Not a day goes by..."
beacon1
Broadway Legend Joined: 1/31/04
#15887Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 4:02pm
OTA:
Patrick planting a tracking device on me? That's a thought...
but would monitoring my activities give him insomnia?
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Patrick Wilson Fans --New "UnOfficial Fan Site". Come check us out!
#15888Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 4:08pmBeacs, doesn't he have PEOPLE to do that for him? Boy needs his sleep, after all...
"Not a day goes by..."
#15889Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 4:31pmUndi- I have it on good authority that Betty is just fine and will be coming back real soon!
"It never bothered me that she called me a c*nt, it bothered me that I answered to it!" Carol Channing about Ethel Merman filming an episode of "The Love Boat"
#15890Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 4:43pm
Hello younguns! I got word I was deleted....well, Im back like a bad cold!
How do ya like my new headshot?
Updated On: 7/20/05 at 04:43 PM
#15891Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 4:47pmlook at that! Undi, you conjoured up BitterBetty! You are some powerful sorcerer!
"Not a day goes by..."
#15892Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 4:48pmNah...I think that varmit is gone...no more good grandma crap for this ole gal!
#15893Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 4:51pmI have heard that about you Undi! I always knew you were a lil devil!
#15894Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 4:51pm
and blueberry pie *HINT*
"Not a day goes by..."
#15895Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 4:52pmHm... demons... we need to talk...
Celebrate Life
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. - Randy Pausch
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. - Randy Pausch
#15896Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 4:52pmwell, looky there Undi...ask and ye shall receive! Betty poked her head up from beyond!
"It never bothered me that she called me a c*nt, it bothered me that I answered to it!" Carol Channing about Ethel Merman filming an episode of "The Love Boat"
#15897Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 4:58pmWith all the time you are saving in commuting Undi, you should be able to make all kinds of pies!
"It never bothered me that she called me a c*nt, it bothered me that I answered to it!" Carol Channing about Ethel Merman filming an episode of "The Love Boat"
#15898Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 5:08pmThat is wierd....sounds like a bomb threat
"It never bothered me that she called me a c*nt, it bothered me that I answered to it!" Carol Channing about Ethel Merman filming an episode of "The Love Boat"
#15899Can the Adults Please Smoke Part 2
Posted: 7/20/05 at 5:35pm
A suspicious device found at the Palisades Mall in West Nyack this afternoon resulted in the evacuation of the giant shopping center.
Clarkstown Town Police received a call from mall security at about 3:15 p.m. reporting a suspicious package in the food court area of the mall.
Patrol units responded and deemed it necessary to evacuate the mall. The Rockland County, Bergen County and State Police bomb squads were called to the scene to evaluate the package.
Because of the incident, the Thruway Authority has closed down the southbound exit 12 on the superhighway until the situation is resolved.
"Not a day goes by..."
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