Can the adults please smoke? — Page 352

THAT was funny!

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The grass is always greener.
ugh.

Good morning. Did everyone have a wonderful weekend?

Money can't buy happiness is one saying that I can't stand.

Maybe it doesn't buy happiness but I'll take the illusion of happiness that it gives.

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Good morning Orion. LOL !!! You're so right.

Weekend was fun. Saw Avenue Q yesterday...what a fun time that was.

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Some great quotes by women!

Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened.

-Cora Harvey Armstrong-


Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies.


The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

-Helen Hayes (at 73)-


I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.

-Janette Barber-


Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

-Lily Tomlin-



A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.

-Carrie Snow-



Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.

-Laurie Kuslansky-



My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

-Erma Bombeck-


Old age ain't no place for sissies.

-Bette Davis-



A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.

-Rhonda Hansome-



The phrase "working mother" is redundant.

-Jane Sellman-



Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.

-Jennifer Unlimited-



Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

-Charlotte Whitton-




Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

-Caryn Leschen-


I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.

-Jennifer Unlimited-



If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

-Catherine-



When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!

-Kathy Buckley-



I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb -- and I'm also not blonde.

-Dolly Parton-



If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.

-Sue Grafton-



I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

-Roseanne Barr-



When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

-Elayne Boosler-



Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

-Maryon Pearson-



In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.

-Margaret Thatcher-



I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.

-Gloria Steinem-



I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.

-Zsa Zsa Gabor-



Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.

-Eleanor Roosevelt-

Morning SOMMS and Undi. Thanks for those SOMMS.

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Morning all! My weekend was a Greek tragedy. It just went from bad to worse to hysterical. I was damper than BT's undies from both a good laugh and a good cry!

Morning Bobby...today the word is "purpose".

Tell us all about it SOMMS.

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Morning DG.

It's not a dolphin, it's a purpose.

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Good morning all -
Sorry SOMMS, and I hope you're now more dry than my undies were, which, I have to say, have completely dried out.

I forgot that I have a client demo of my software at 11 - and I haven't prepared for it. There is something exciting about an impromptu speech. I'll be back after lunch to check in with you and your purposes.

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Morning BT...I hope your speech goes well. If you get nervous, just picture all you BWW friends in damp panties. I'll be standing out...in front.

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Readers Digest version. Guy I have been dating seriously for about two months doesn't call me or return call all weekend. This is my first weekend home in six weeks and we had tentative plans to get together. Don't know where I stand. Not looking good, I think. Delivered cleaning supplies to flood victims on Saturday morning. Cried from the devastation. One gay couple lost their house and everything in it (four foot high water marks throughout first floor of a ranch house. One partners father died the night before the flood and the other partner is opening a new art gallery in New Hope that has to open this weekend to meet first mortgage payment. Art was in house. I cried buckets in the buckets I delivered. Go to dinner with ex and his new boyfriend on Saturday night. It was an emotional trainwreck. Cried in car on way home. Best friend called on Sunday afternoon and suggested that I meet him at bar for tea dance to drown my sorrows over new beau. Standing alone for five minutes while he goes to the bathroom and around the corner comes my ex partner (Dan) of three years who dumped me six months ago. With him is his new boyfriend (Ted) who I was with before Dan. I'm not making this up! I haven't seen Dan in six months and still have lots of emotional scars. Am pleasant, nice, even charming and don't leave the bar until after they do. Cry all the way home and then cry myself to sleep. Get to work this morning to find out the the secretary who sits in the cubicle on the other side of me passed away on Saturday night of a massive coronary. I've known and loved Patti since I was 19. I'm crying as I type. Okay now I'm laughing because I'm crying. Hey boobs ... It sucks to be me!