Cheney Having Heart Surgery Tomorrow, Bush Will Briefly Be President

[romantico]

Posted: 7/27/07 at 4:40pm

http://wonkette.com/politics/dept%27-of-dick-needs-a-jump-start-again/cheney-having-heart-surgery-tomorrow-bush-will-briefly-be-president-283380.php

[RockabyeHamlet]

Posted: 7/27/07 at 4:41pm

Cheney has a heart?!

[romantico]

Posted: 7/27/07 at 4:43pm

I don't think so. The way I read the artcile they were gonna try and give him one. Not sure what it will do. Heart is made by Haliburton and costs 300 trillion which Cheney is putting on the USA's credit card.

Updated On: 7/27/07 at 04:43 PM

[RockabyeHamlet]

Posted: 7/27/07 at 4:52pm

That makes more sense, thank you for the clarification!

[Unknown User]

Posted: 7/27/07 at 4:57pm

Hmmm Tony Snow just called this report "Pathetic" and said Cheney was getting a pedicure tomorrow.

[cheezedoodle]

Posted: 7/27/07 at 6:48pm

This was in the paper today...too funny!

On a related note, after Camp David doctors successfully removed five apparently benign polyps from Bush's colon, they were allegedly instructed by Defense Secretary Robert Gates to see if they could, at long last, find at least a trace of Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction "up in there" to help justify the Iraq conflict, a lost war that even the smallest human child now understands was one of the most malevolent and destructive political decisions in American history.

"We looked and looked. No WMD. No secret storage bunkers. Not even a vial of Nigerian plutonium," sighed the doctors, who all seemed pretty much through with this terminally long joke. "And just in case you were wondering, no sign of Osama up there, either. We did find one of Jerry Falwell's big gold rings. But that doesn't really count. Wait, does it?"

Dick Cheney, busy cackling ominously deep in his bunker, was unavailable for comment.

President Cheney Sickens Planet

[romantico]

Posted: 7/28/07 at 9:12am

If all goes as planned, Osama will be caught in October 2008. Didn't you get the memo?

[wexy]

Posted: 7/28/07 at 7:55pm

Dick Cheney and heart in the same sentence is pretty oxymoronic.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 7/28/07 at 10:34pm

I like the idea of Cheney in a cute baseball outfit singing "Heart" to cheer Bush up, along with a barbershop quartet of Gonzales, Brownie, Tony Snow and Scotter Libby.