Come and Get 'Im, Ladies! Ted Haggard is "completely heterosexual"!!

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 2/7/07 at 10:11am

Ted Haggard, the national evangelical leader who resigned after admitting to "sexual immorality," has told counselors he is "completely heterosexual." A former male hooker says Haggard paid him for sex for three years. Rehab summary: 1) Haggard says he has undergone "a three week psychological intensive that gave us three years worth of analysis and treatment." 2) He says "the Holy Spirit has been convicting and healing me." 3) His counselors have asked him to continue "Christian counseling" twice a week. 4) They've urged him "to enter a 12-step program for sexual addiction." Counselors' spin: "He is completely heterosexual. That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing." Cynical spin: Acting out? Until you're out, you're acting.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 2/7/07 at 10:19am

The preacher's masseur responds:

===


Mike Jones responds to Ted Haggard's announcement of his heterosexuality

by David Edwards and Michael Rogers

The prostitute who first exposed Evangelical minister Ted Haggard as a closeted gay man and crystal meth user has responded to Haggard's claim that he has successfully completed three weeks of "ex-gay" counseling.

In response to Haggard's statement, Jones giggled and responded "Well, that's the quickest therapy I've ever heard of. It's hard for me to imagine someone who is performing oral sex and saying that he is 'straight.' That just doesn't jive." If you were to ask me 'Do I think is Ted haggard gay?' I would have to say 'yes'," he added.

In response to one of Haggard's counselor's claims that Haggard's activities were not a "constant thing," Jones explained that he could only speak to the time he spent with Haggard and that had an ongoing sexual relationship with the minister and that their time together "indicated a gay man to me." Jones also shared that he had heard from two other individuals that claimed they had encounters with Haggard. Those accusers, Jones asserted, have chosen to remain anonymous for fear of losing their jobs.

When asked why he decided to expose Haggard, Jones said he was "tormented" over the decision, but that the "hypocrisy was so strong and evident that I just could not sit by any longer."
Mike Jones responds to Ted Haggard's announcement of his heterosexuality

[son_of_a_gunn_25]

Posted: 2/7/07 at 10:20am

Just in case you missed it. Its title didn't exactly stand out as being about Haggard.
Yesterday's Thread on the subject

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 2/7/07 at 10:20am

I guess a blowjob is a sometime thing.

[best12bars]

Posted: 2/7/07 at 10:42am

Gay + Brainwashed =/= Straight.

Updated On: 2/7/07 at 10:42 AM

[Calvin]

Posted: 2/7/07 at 10:45am

I thought Gay + Brainwashed = Scientologist.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 2/7/07 at 10:50am

Isn't this the fifth (or so) thread? It's like the new Dreamgirls/SPRING AWAKENING.

[best12bars]

Posted: 2/7/07 at 10:57am

We should just call it the dreamgirls awakening thread.

That would be appropriate.

[Magdalene]

Posted: 2/7/07 at 12:25pm

I'll pass (but he won't!)

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 2/7/07 at 6:13pm

I ate at McDonald's and now I'm straight, too! If I'd only known it was SO EASY!!

[HamletWasBipolar]

Posted: 2/8/07 at 12:31am

No taste in eating establishments either, I see.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 2/8/07 at 9:52am

That's right! Your intuition and insight is...well..totally unbelievable. Literally!

[Auggie27]

Posted: 2/8/07 at 10:46am

Still, I bet he'd agree with Cloris Leachman's observation in BEERFEST:

"I always feel better with some weiner in me."

[Elphaba]

Posted: 2/8/07 at 1:57pm

pass me a breast, please.....I'm now straight.

[tazber]

Posted: 2/8/07 at 2:24pm

bump-
some reactions:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/58365

Updated On: 2/8/07 at 02:24 PM

[LittleFish8386]

Posted: 2/8/07 at 2:44pm

i love the onion.

[WindyCityActor]

Posted: 2/9/07 at 10:24am