Daycare- Page 2

[DG]

Posted: 7/16/08 at 9:43pm

Of course he will, Shira - but God help ANYBODY or ANYTHING that interupts the child's existence!

[shira467]

Posted: 7/16/08 at 9:45pm

We'll be there t o fight 'em off!

[KelRel]

Posted: 7/16/08 at 9:55pm

LOL, Shira I would, but the gas to get him there would cost more than sending the child to Harvard.

Well it's bath night and bed time for Brian. Good night guys and thank you all for letting me vent.

[shira467]

Posted: 7/16/08 at 9:58pm

Fine. Deny ME happiness, why don't you!

Night to you and Brian!

[DG]

Posted: 7/16/08 at 10:05pm

Shira - this isn't about you.

Try to breathe, darling

BATH TIME - how fun!

[shira467]

Posted: 7/16/08 at 10:08pm

What? WHAT?

Bath Time - I can't wait to see when he gets bath toys! It will be so cute!

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 7/16/08 at 10:12pm

I always thought that I would be the one to stay home with my children, but it didn't work out that way. Instead, my husband has had that pleasure.

HOWEVER, I will say this: There are benefits to not being home all day with the kids.

1. When I come home everyday, it's like a parade with fireworks! My kids make a huge fuss and hug and kiss me like crazy. My poor husband is kind of "taken for granted" because the kids are with him all the time.

2. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is so true! Being apart from them makes me appreciate them so much more. The distance gives me the opportunity to think about them and process the people they are becoming and all the joy they add to my life.

3. I'm not the one constantly picking up after them; "disciplining" them; chauffeuring them to the dentist; lugging them--and bags of heavy groceries--from the supermarket to the parking lot and up the front steps; plotzing because they ate ice cream sandwiches behind my back and then used my computer which now has a sticky keyboard; or preparing three sets of dinner every night because they won't eat what we eat. (When we go on vacation, I actually "enjoy" doing laundry and washing dishes...it's like I'm "playing house"!) I know that you would gladly do these things for the privilege of spending as much time as possible with your kids, but there IS an advantage to NOT being the one who HAS TO do it all the time.

4. I have a job that has a beginning, a middle and an end. My husband's job is 24/7! It's like he hardly ever leaves his "place of employment"! I'd hate that!

5. I have a sense of accomplishment and responsibility that helps me to feel good about myself, and this translates positively to my role as a mom. I know that I am taking care of my family by being the breadwinner, but I also possess a high level of self-esteem because I do meaningful work that helps many people in need.

6. I am a positive role-model for my children. They don't perceive school and work as "bad." They know that I am happy at my job and they look forward to doing their their "jobs," whether that is homework, chores or taking a bath. (I'm often teased about being very "Mary Poppinslike" because I try to turn every challenge into a "game." )

7. I am not the "crazed" one! My mom stayed home and raised 4 kids. Every so often, she would just "lose it" (and I do not blame her one bit!) The same thing happens here. My husband sometimes just feels like he is "in service" to the kids, the house and me! He just has a meltdown. (Again, I do not blame him one bit!) But I don't because every second I'm home and with my kids, I'm really, really, really happy about it. It doesn't feel like a "sacrifice" to give up my time to be with them because, to me, the "sacrifice" I make is going to work everyday and NOT being with them.

8. There's a lot of variety in my life. Nothing is routine unless I impose it. (It turns out, "routine" is a welcome diversion when you're busy all the time!)

9. Because there is a social aspect inherent to working outside the home, I do not feel "isolated," which my husband sometimes does. Also, I have developed friendships through work over the years that have benefited the children's social lives. Some of my kids' closest friends are the children of MY friends--people I got to meet in the first place because I worked with them!

10. No matter how much you love your children, you have to love yourself first. If you lose touch with who you are and who you were before you were a mother, you will be depriving your children. I have an incredibly strong sense of the people my parents were, and to this day, they remain the most wonderful, powerful and positive influences in my life. They were individuals. They had interests and passions and FUN. They were intelligent, social beings who loved their friends as well as their family. They were always present for me because they loved life and cherished the life each of them were given. And there was never any doubt of how much they loved us.

Kel, honestly, every one of my friends who said, "I can't leave him! Going back to work is going to be impossible!" has turned a corner shortly after making the transition and said to me, "It feels good to be back at work." We all felt a little "guilty" at first, but realized that it's truly the quality of the time you spend with them that matters. Rather than feeling like "I can't wait to get away from these kids!" we all feel like, "I can't wait to be WITH my kids again!"

Every cloud has a silver lining.

Updated On: 7/17/08 at 10:12 PM

[DG]

Posted: 7/16/08 at 10:13pm

I love MissP.

Just had to say it.

[cpnchicago]

Posted: 7/16/08 at 10:25pm

Okay, I hardly ever post, but am often lurking. I had to reply to this, though. I'm a teacher, too, and am getting ready to go back after a year's leave of absence. My son is 15 months old. I took a year off after my 3 year old was born, too, and had her in daycare for a year before I took off again. (confused yet?) Anyway, it is hard, but it will be harder on you than him. As long as you feel comfortable with the daycare, you can know that your little guy is in good hands and is really thinking about you much less than you're thinking about him. (If you don't feel comfortable with the daycare, SWITCH immediately.)
Also, just remember how lucky you are to be a teacher. If you are as passionate about it as I am, you're helping lots of kids who aren't as lucky as your own to have great parents. Also, you have a couple of months in summer, a few weeks at Christmas, snow days (if it snows where you live), etc. And really, the quantity of time you spend with your son might go down, but not the quality. Honestly, I've stayed home for a year with both of my kids, and I think I'm more creative/loving/attentive to them when I'm working than when I'm staying home. I just value my time with them more, so I'm not on my laptop or watching DVR'd Project Runway episodes.
Finally, this won't help you right now, but try petitioning your district to start a daycare for teacher's kids. We did that to our district and actually got it. So my kids are at a high school in the district, on our school schedule, with other teacher's kids. I have meetings in that building and can pop in on them. I have friends who work there who can walk down the hall and peek in on them to give me updates. It is a great set-up and more districts are starting to do it. Give it a shot. We never thought we'd get it.
Good luck. Hang in there!

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 7/16/08 at 10:26pm

Awww, DG. Thank you. That means so much coming from you.

I'm just thrilled that you actually read my post...I got a little carried away and it turned into a "top ten"! (True confession: I often "skip" long posts when I'm reading a thread. Shhhh! Don't tell anyone!!!!)

[thatgirl712]

Posted: 7/16/08 at 10:34pm

Great response Miss P, enjoyed reading it

I'm sorry Kel Rel, I can't really help with this one, I don't have any children.

Updated On: 7/16/08 at 10:34 PM

[DG]

Posted: 7/16/08 at 10:43pm

"Great response Miss P, enjoyed reading it"

See, I'm not the only one!

But I get what you're saying . . .

And I do the same thing - but never with those I actually care about and respect

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 7/16/08 at 10:50pm

Same here, DG. Um, what did you say?

(LOL!)

[YouWantitWhen????]

Posted: 7/16/08 at 11:05pm

Miss P, I am sure it helps that you and Mr. P have raised two wonderful, adorable, articulate children.

They are lucky to have you two as parents, as you are to have them as kids!

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 7/16/08 at 11:39pm

That's very kind of you to say, YWIW. I just hope they feel that way when they're older!

[Mamie]

Posted: 7/17/08 at 1:09pm

There's another factor here - this could be a real benefit to your son. I have a niece and a nephew who each had babies about 2 weeks apart. They're each 15 months old now. For the niece, it was her 2nd child and for the nephew, it was his first. The niece (now an old hand at raising babies) had very little problem with leaving her daughter with babysitters and daycare and neighbors. Her little girl is the most sociable, happy little thing you ever saw. She has no problem at all with tearing into a room full of strangers and quickly wrapping them around her little finger!

My nephew and his wife had a little boy and the mom stayed home with him every day. Any time they wanted to go out, the baby went with them. They just couldn't stand leaving him - even with his grandparents. Now that same little boy can't stand to have his mom leave him for even a little bit. She tried to leave him with his grandparents the other day and he cried his heart out the whole time he was there.

Learning to live with others and learning that you are secure because mom and dad will be there to get you every day is part of the growing up process. I know it's easy for me to say because I don't have any children - but I can see what its done to these two and I feel so sorry for the little boy that I could cry!

Like the others here have said - it'll be harder on you than on him but the good he can get out of it can be wonderful for him!

[KelRel]

Posted: 7/17/08 at 2:30pm

Yeah, I don't want him to be anti-social. He LOVES other people right now and I don't want that to change. I was going to leave him with the neighbors tonight so that my husband and I could go to dinner and a movie, but the school also threw a back to school BBQ into the mix for tonight with no warning. I found out about it yesterday afternoon. I was going to use this night out as a way to ease myself into this whole day care thing, but now I don't even get that.

I spent two hours at the day care today just watching things and other than lunch being really hectic, things went really well. The teachers were really sweet to the kids so I know he will be fine. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 7/17/08 at 3:54pm

Make sure you vote REPUBLICAN this election year. This is the ONLY way we can restore the economy so that a women can stay at home and take care of the house and kids.

[D2]

Posted: 7/17/08 at 4:06pm

Updated On: 7/17/08 at 04:06 PM

[shira467]

Posted: 7/17/08 at 4:07pm

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 7/17/08 at 4:07pm

D2! Don't feed the troll! This thread is about KelRel and daycare!

[KelRel]

Posted: 7/17/08 at 4:20pm

MissP, thank you so much for writing all of that out. It helps to put it all in perspective. You are too wise and gracious for words. *hugs*

[KelRel]

Posted: 7/21/08 at 4:43pm

Well today finally came- day one of daycare. My husband dropped him off, so when I heard the garage door close I broke down and cried for about 5 minutes, pulled myself as together as possible, redid my make-up and headed into work. I was especially worried because he started teething this weekend and has been miserable. I was a bit shaky at first, but as I got to know my fellow teachers and more about our goal as a charter school the better I felt. I was encouraged by the shared passion we all have for reaching out to these kids and the emphasis that is put on the arts and that going to AND graduating from college is expected of every student.

The best part of the day was picking Brian up and seeing that not only was he "OK", but he was smiling too. He got a big smile on his face when he saw me and everything was fine. It will still be hard to see him go, but at least the hardest part is over.

Thank you again to everyone who offered encouragement. I really appreciate it.