Daycare — Page 2

Of course he will, Shira - but God help ANYBODY or ANYTHING that interupts the child's existence!

LOL, Shira I would, but the gas to get him there would cost more than sending the child to Harvard.

Well it's bath night and bed time for Brian. Good night guys and thank you all for letting me vent.

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Shira - this isn't about you.

Try to breathe, darling

BATH TIME - how fun!

I always thought that I would be the one to stay home with my children, but it didn't work out that way. Instead, my husband has had that pleasure.

HOWEVER, I will say this: There are benefits to not being home all day with the kids.

1. When I come home everyday, it's like a parade with fireworks! My kids make a huge fuss and hug and kiss me like crazy. My poor husband is kind of "taken for granted" because the kids are with him all the time.

2. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is so true! Being apart from them makes me appreciate them so much more. The distance gives me the opportunity to think about them and process the people they are becoming and all the joy they add to my life.

3. I'm not the one constantly picking up after them; "disciplining" them; chauffeuring them to the dentist; lugging them--and bags of heavy groceries--from the supermarket to the parking lot and up the front steps; plotzing because they ate ice cream sandwiches behind my back and then used my computer which now has a sticky keyboard; or preparing three sets of dinner every night because they won't eat what we eat. (When we go on vacation, I actually "enjoy" doing laundry and washing dishes...it's like I'm "playing house"!) I know that you would gladly do these things for the privilege of spending as much time as possible with your kids, but there IS an advantage to NOT being the one who HAS TO do it all the time.

4. I have a job that has a beginning, a middle and an end. My husband's job is 24/7! It's like he hardly ever leaves his "place of employment"! I'd hate that!

5. I have a sense of accomplishment and responsibility that helps me to feel good about myself, and this translates positively to my role as a mom. I know that I am taking care of my family by being the breadwinner, but I also possess a high level of self-esteem because I do meaningful work that helps many people in need.

6. I am a positive role-model for my children. They don't perceive school and work as "bad." They know that I am happy at my job and they look forward to doing their their "jobs," whether that is homework, chores or taking a bath. (I'm often teased about being very "Mary Poppinslike" because I try to turn every challenge into a "game." )

7. I am not the "crazed" one! My mom stayed home and raised 4 kids. Every so often, she would just "lose it" (and I do not blame her one bit!) The same thing happens here. My husband sometimes just feels like he is "in service" to the kids, the house and me! He just has a meltdown. (Again, I do not blame him one bit!) But I don't because every second I'm home and with my kids, I'm really, really, really happy about it. It doesn't feel like a "sacrifice" to give up my time to be with them because, to me, the "sacrifice" I make is going to work everyday and NOT being with them.

8. There's a lot of variety in my life. Nothing is routine unless I impose it. (It turns out, "routine" is a welcome diversion when you're busy all the time!)

9. Because there is a social aspect inherent to working outside the home, I do not feel "isolated," which my husband sometimes does. Also, I have developed friendships through work over the years that have benefited the children's social lives. Some of my kids' closest friends are the children of MY friends--people I got to meet in the first place because I worked with them!

10. No matter how much you love your children, you have to love yourself first. If you lose touch with who you are and who you were before you were a mother, you will be depriving your children. I have an incredibly strong sense of the people my parents were, and to this day, they remain the most wonderful, powerful and positive influences in my life. They were individuals. They had interests and passions and FUN. They were intelligent, social beings who loved their friends as well as their family. They were always present for me because they loved life and cherished the life each of them were given. And there was never any doubt of how much they loved us.

Kel, honestly, every one of my friends who said, "I can't leave him! Going back to work is going to be impossible!" has turned a corner shortly after making the transition and said to me, "It feels good to be back at work." We all felt a little "guilty" at first, but realized that it's truly the quality of the time you spend with them that matters. Rather than feeling like "I can't wait to get away from these kids!" we all feel like, "I can't wait to be WITH my kids again!"

Every cloud has a silver lining.

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Updated On: 7/17/08 at 10:12 PM

Okay, I hardly ever post, but am often lurking. I had to reply to this, though. I'm a teacher, too, and am getting ready to go back after a year's leave of absence. My son is 15 months old. I took a year off after my 3 year old was born, too, and had her in daycare for a year before I took off again. (confused yet?) Anyway, it is hard, but it will be harder on you than him. As long as you feel comfortable with the daycare, you can know that your little guy is in good hands and is really thinking about you much less than you're thinking about him. (If you don't feel comfortable with the daycare, SWITCH immediately.)
Also, just remember how lucky you are to be a teacher. If you are as passionate about it as I am, you're helping lots of kids who aren't as lucky as your own to have great parents. Also, you have a couple of months in summer, a few weeks at Christmas, snow days (if it snows where you live), etc. And really, the quantity of time you spend with your son might go down, but not the quality. Honestly, I've stayed home for a year with both of my kids, and I think I'm more creative/loving/attentive to them when I'm working than when I'm staying home. I just value my time with them more, so I'm not on my laptop or watching DVR'd Project Runway episodes.
Finally, this won't help you right now, but try petitioning your district to start a daycare for teacher's kids. We did that to our district and actually got it. So my kids are at a high school in the district, on our school schedule, with other teacher's kids. I have meetings in that building and can pop in on them. I have friends who work there who can walk down the hall and peek in on them to give me updates. It is a great set-up and more districts are starting to do it. Give it a shot. We never thought we'd get it.
Good luck. Hang in there!

Great response Miss P, enjoyed reading it

I'm sorry Kel Rel, I can't really help with this one, I don't have any children.

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Updated On: 7/16/08 at 10:34 PM