Dealing with inappropriate backstage behavior?

[Mythus]

Posted: 3/16/07 at 12:04pm

This is mostly off-topic...there's a junior in my high school's drama club who, apart from having a huge ego, has been displaying really inappropriate behavior backstage at rehearsal and doing shows. He gropes the girls (from behind - or at least pretends to), makes lewd comments, and is generally an idiot. He's even dropped his pants during a dress rehearsal, in the wings. I mean, who does this?

I wanted to report him to our director/advisor, but I never did. The stage manager (who unfortunately was on the recieving end of his groping, once) also didn't want to step forward. He makes an extremely uncomfortable environment backstage.

The problem is, this the the last show we were in, which ended a few weeks ago. Now we're working on another show, The Secret Garden, and this guy is one of the leads, Neville.

Would it still be okay to go to the advisor/director and tell him, if anything, to at least be wary of this guy? I don't want to do it by myself, but the stage manager from the last show volunteered to go forward with me.

(And yes, the guy has a girlfriend in the club, and they're the two most idiotic, egotistical people I've ever met.)
Updated On: 3/16/07 at 12:04 PM

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 3/16/07 at 12:15pm

sounds like a case for ---
the student board!

[wishinguweresomehow]

Posted: 3/16/07 at 12:15pm

I would definitely recommend going to your director. This guy is bordering on sexual harassment with the groping whether it be actual or pretend. He also is an obvious distraction to the othe people in the cast and working on the show(s). His behavior is beyond juvenile and not appropriate, even for a high school theatre environment. Taking this to your director and just telling him what you and your friends have witnessed from him in the past could be a direct warning to him, that it's not appropriate to do that while backstage or anywhere else. Afterall, you are not going to the director to tell him you dont think he should be in the show, just to warn him of this jerk's behavior. Hope that helps!

Good luck!
Meg

[2373]

Posted: 3/16/07 at 1:38pm

give me their email address and I will tell them how it is...gladly.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 3/16/07 at 2:00pm

if I were the advisor/director I'd ask why you didn't mention when you were in a play with him and it happened. Seems odd that you'll mention it now, but not then.
I'd probably discount your comments because of that....just my 2 pfennigs worth...

[Kringas]

Posted: 3/16/07 at 2:04pm

I'd probably discount your comments because of that....

Wow. No surprise, but still, wow.

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 3/16/07 at 2:07pm

If the behavior continues, you should definitely tell your advisor. But, it's always possibly that he's grown up and stopped behaving that way. I would wait to see if he's changed his ways or not. It's possible someone confronted him since last time.

[colleen_lee]

Posted: 3/16/07 at 2:08pm

What this kid is doing is sexual harrassment, and behavior like that never goes away on its own. If he is never confronted about it, it is going to continue.

If it makes you uncomfortable then you need to speak to the director. If s/he is someone that you do not feel comfortable sharing this with, then share the information with another faculty member that you feel you trust.

Be sure to include specific examples of his behavior.

[Kringas]

Posted: 3/16/07 at 2:11pm

And don't be worried about having your comments discounted. I would imagine that your teacher would have to have any claim of harrassment of that sort investigated.

[D2]

Posted: 3/16/07 at 2:11pm

He dropped his pants? They expel for that in Florida!

[LyTeMyCanDyI]

Posted: 3/16/07 at 2:24pm

I'd report it. If it's unwanted advances, defiantely go for it. If it, however, is like MY hgih school, all of our backstage groping was totally consensual and then don't.

Really, do report it. Last year one of our leads in guys and Dolls, Nicely, to be exact, thought it wold be amusing to tie a baby doll to two planks of wood made to look like a cross. No one was amused and he got in trouble for it.

[Kringas]

Posted: 3/16/07 at 2:29pm

You go to a weird high school.

[Carl Magnum]

Posted: 3/16/07 at 2:37pm

If he gropes your ass just haul off and kick him in the balls. He'll stop for sure. That way you won't be a snitch and he won't get a finger wagging from the director that is bound to accomplish nothing.

But go to him before you go to the director in all seriousness. The theatre has a history of being a bit more touchy feeley than most other things. He may be acting based on assumptions he has from past productions where the cast was tighter and therefore maybe crossed some lines with each other that may otherwise be seen as too far. He won't know his advances aren't unwanted or unwelcome unless you tell him, he may not be able to differentiate this from the other shows he's done if someone doesn't stop up and say "Stop". If he doesn't stop THEN go to the director. But ask yourself this question, Is the only reason you don't want him groping you is because he isn't cute enough or gay enough?

[Craig]

Posted: 3/16/07 at 2:39pm

Is that like the old quote

"If they're cute, it's flirting. If they're not, it's sexual harrassment" ??

[Carl Magnum]

Posted: 3/16/07 at 2:40pm

95% of the time the old quote rings true regardless; Gay/Straight/Man/Woman/Married/Single

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 3/16/07 at 2:40pm

SNAP! That's the truth!

[Carl Magnum]

Posted: 3/16/07 at 2:43pm

I'm guilty of it too, looking the other way when they're cute I mean.

[tazber]

Posted: 3/16/07 at 6:41pm

I find violence is always the best answer.

No seriously, if it's bothering you, tell your advisor. Always get an adult involved if you can't deal with it yourself.

[vmlinnie]

Posted: 3/16/07 at 6:55pm

How old is this guy, and is he actually any good?

I mean on stage, not in the other way. Sure...

Either way, kick that crotch! Kick that crotch!

[vbplayer]

Posted: 3/16/07 at 7:32pm

This is my thinking. I like the crotch idea, however you then are down at his level (not meant as a joke). Seems to me that the rest of the cast needs to address the perpetrator(sp?) to the situation and tell him to STOP an stop NOW. ( a good backhand slap may work)

Advise your plans to go to the big D and If that dosen't work, go for the cajones.........and make it count.

[Mythus]

Posted: 3/16/07 at 7:42pm

He's 17, and...he's very good at emulating talent, but he has no natural talent of his own (this is a quote from our musical director). He's very disliked in the club...so I want to kick him quite often. I'm going to go to the director with the last SM and see what he can do...I'm sure he'd be happy for a reason to kick this kid out - he's been causing a lot of problems and a lot of people think he doesn't deserve to be there.