Difficult coming out situation...- Page 2

[D2]

Posted: 12/30/09 at 12:15pm

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[justagirl2]

Posted: 12/30/09 at 12:31pm

Oh, taboo. I am so sorry to hear about this. I'll be thinking about you and your family today.

[Hulmeman]

Posted: 12/30/09 at 1:09pm

taboo, you poor love. You do not have your troubles to seek at he moment do you?

The very fact that you took the time to consider the position of your mother, your family and yourself in this tells me a lot about you. I don't know you or your circumstances, but the considerstion I have read from you tells me that you are a good person of whom any mother should and would be proud.

Life is full of situations such as you have faced and as long as there are good people such as those on here who have given you good and constructive advice, the journey is easier.

Love to you and yours taboo, and a big pat on the back to all you who gave good advice and kindness.

[nmartin]

Posted: 12/30/09 at 1:17pm

"That's cause you're a douche."
Thank you, little boy.

[CAX]

Posted: 12/30/09 at 10:16pm

Taboo--

I do not know you, and am only now coming across your post. Everyone is sorry for your loss. I choose to say I hope you can be thankful for what you've gained/had with your mom. As a Momma's boy myself, I cannot even fathom how I will feel on that eventual day you've experienced today and I don't even have the stomach to entertain the thought.

What I think it clear, as someone else has said, is you are obviously good people. Your mother was blessed to have a son like you who had the the presence of mind to think about this and consider what was best for her in her final bit on this globe. Smile, if you can. Remember the wonderful things AND the frustrating things and all the things in between she did to help form you into the person you are today. That's her gift to you. Being the best you you can be, finding happiness, peace of mind and spirit and prospering is the gift you will give to her. She's always with you so in my estimation, she already knows everything about you she needed to know!

Love, light and peace of mind to you and your family in this time. You will be in my thoughts/prayers.

[BwayTday]

Posted: 12/30/09 at 10:51pm

I am so sorry for your loss. I really don't have much words of wisdom, because it would be just repeating what others have said.

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 12/31/09 at 7:02am

I am so sorry to hear this news. I am sure you were a great comfort to her at the end and she loved you no matter what. And I agree, she probably knew...and certainly knows now.
Peace to you and your family.

[sabrelady]

Posted: 12/31/09 at 8:23pm

G*d bless you all in this time of turmoil and travail.

This won't mean much right now, but in time, remember she did not take this journey alone. You were part of it and the pain right now is the price of the obvious love you had for this woman. There could have been less pain but that would have meant less love and I never met anyone who asked for less love.

[toanythingtaboo 2]

Posted: 1/5/10 at 7:49am

Hey everyone, thanks so much for everything you've said. It's so kind and means a lot.

I'm doing ok, as are my Dad and Brother. It's not sunk in, and I don't think it will for a while, but in a way I guess thats better because it means grief and the realisation gradually sets in rather than an overwhelming amount of emotion at once.

It helps that we were there when it happened, it offers a lot of closure I think and meant her last moments were with loved ones and not doctors or, worse, alone. I'm not a believer in fate or anything, but can't begin to imagine if we hadn't arrived 10 minutes earlier. Though, as I said before, we reckon she held on to say goodbye.

Thanks also to your thoughts concerning coming out. There was a moment whilst we remained in the hospital room when my Dad mentioned that we'd keep all Mums jewellery, he paused after 'So you can give it to your...' and finished with 'families'. The fact he didn't say wives or girlfriends, I think, was for my benefit. If he had any doubts, I'm sure they would have discussed it, plus there are probably plenty of hints I gave over the year without realising. Even if she didn't 'know', the fact she had her suspicions and continued to love and treat me the same as before is enough for me.

We're having the funeral on Friday. Not been to one before, and I'm not looking forward to overbearing and emotional relatives, but hopefully it'll offer further closure. Her illness has leached so much from all our lives for so long that, as selfish as it sounds, drawing a line under it all and starting a new chapter will be a good thing.

Dad's also planning a fundraising concert for those who helped her/Maggie's Cancer Centre, with his singing groups and professional friends, which I think is a good healing process for him.

Thanks again, everyone.
Updated On: 1/5/10 at 07:49 AM