Fed-Ex's Emancipossum Exlampation

#1

Fed-Ex's Emancipossum Exlampation

Posted: 11/15/06 at 12:12pm

Free at last, Free at last, Kevin Federline is Free at last!

After his disastrous Chicago House of Blues performance (they literally couldn't GIVE the tickets away!), this graphito was discovered written on shower stall door in the dressing room:

"Today I'm a free man Ladies look out F*ck a wife Give me my kids B*tch! --Kevin Federline"

I suppose that when you get your divorce papers served via text message, it makes sense to issue your custody claim via magic marker on a stall door!

#2

re: Fed-Ex's Emancipossum Exlampation

Posted: 11/15/06 at 12:14pm

I wouldn't piss on him if he were on fire, but I'm guessing he's not the author of that little missive.

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Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson

#3

re: Fed-Ex's Emancipossum Exlampation

Posted: 11/15/06 at 12:16pm

Something tells me Kevin would light the match in hope, Rath.

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"Carson has combined his passion for helping children with his love for one of Cincinnati's favorite past times - cornhole - to create a unique and exciting event perfect for a corporate outing, entertaining clients or family fun."

"In Oz, the verb is douchifizzation." PRS

#4

re: Fed-Ex's Emancipossum Exlampation

Posted: 11/15/06 at 12:46pm

I saw him "perform" on Tyra Banks and he was weak even for a rapper. And I like good rap. Tyra tried to pump up the crowd to no avail, bless her heart.

#5

re: Fed-Ex's Emancipossum Exlampation

Posted: 11/15/06 at 12:47pm

Here's the link to a picture of the message-- It's either K-Fed's handwriting or a drunken fourth-grader!

Defamer

Updated On: 11/15/06 at 12:47 PM

#6

re: Fed-Ex's Emancipossum Exlampation

Posted: 11/15/06 at 12:49pm

And the difference is....?

#7

re: Fed-Ex's Emancipossum Exlampation

Posted: 11/15/06 at 1:04pm

I must applaud this fabulous subject line. Bravo, Joe!

#8

re: Fed-Ex's Emancipossum Exlampation

Posted: 11/15/06 at 1:14pm

Now what does he mean by f*ck a wife?

A)We should f*ck HIS wife

B)He's advising us, the public, to go out, find a wife, and f*ck her

C)He wants to "dis" his ex with a "f*ck you!"

Perhaps I should loan him my Strunk & White so he may better express his complex Joycean thoughts.

#9

re: Fed-Ex's Emancipossum Exlampation

Posted: 11/15/06 at 1:22pm

I think he is saying "I do not care to keep my spouse, but must retain my offspring" and saying it in the colorful language of the streets.

#10

re: Fed-Ex's Emancipossum Exlampation

Posted: 11/15/06 at 1:24pm

Ah, that's why I didn't understand...see, I learned jive from Barbara Billingsley.

#11

re: Fed-Ex's Emancipossum Exlampation

Posted: 11/15/06 at 1:29pm

#12

re: Fed-Ex's Emancipossum Exlampation

Posted: 11/15/06 at 2:00pm

"I think he is saying 'I do not care to keep my spouse, but must retain my offspring' and saying it in the colorful language of the streets."



Joe, I love you.

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You promised me poems. ~Tricky

#13

re: Fed-Ex's Emancipossum Exlampation

Posted: 11/15/06 at 2:14pm

Personally, I took it as a self-proclaimed admission that, while he does not consider himself to be "husband material", he stills believes himself to be an excellent father and role model.

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"What can you expect from a bunch of seitan worshippers?" - Reginald Tresilian

#14

re: Fed-Ex's Emancipossum Exlampation

Posted: 11/15/06 at 2:36pm

This might be in my top ten fave threads evah! Witty and pithy...