For Those Who Feel The Need To Share All of Their Banal Details Part 3- Page 23

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 5/18/06 at 9:52pm

I think I kind of hate myself.

[bdwaygirl]

Posted: 5/18/06 at 9:55pm

What happened now, Em?

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 5/18/06 at 10:03pm

Devastation, emotional pain, and guilt. Melodramatic much? I wish I could say it truly was mere melodrama. I have hurt and been hurt, by fault and mistake of my own, for which I cannot make up due to impenetrable lack of understanding and trust. And that's a position no one should ever have to be in, because it'll eat you inside.

For all of those proverbs that insist you tell the people you love that you love them as much as you can, the pain of telling someone that, and having it go misunderstood and not believed is one no one should ever be forced to endure.

Bleh. *wanders away*

(I think I got a babysitting job, though.)

Updated On: 5/18/06 at 10:03 PM

[ElphieDefiesGravity]

Posted: 5/18/06 at 10:18pm

*hugs Em*

I can't stop shaking and my teeth are chattering.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 5/18/06 at 10:21pm

Are you cold?

[SweetQintheLights]

Posted: 5/18/06 at 10:22pm

I'm hungry and depressed. And my anxiety is really acting up. And I don't know why.

Well, I guess I do know why but I need to get over it.

I know it was a stupid myspace bulletin that someone created but it really made me distraught. Yes, I'm upset that she killed herself, but that was back in September. This is much more disturbing than upsetting. That dead, bloody picture of her will forever be embedded in my brain.

YUCK!

[ElphieDefiesGravity]

Posted: 5/18/06 at 10:24pm

No, I'm not cold. Sometimes, when I get really emotional, I start to shake and shiver.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 5/18/06 at 10:26pm

Me too.

Have you heard from them again, SweetQ? I'm so sorry they're being so inconsiderate.

[SweetQintheLights]

Posted: 5/18/06 at 10:59pm

Nope...haven't heard from them again.

I really don't expect to at this point. I mean, I am mad at myspace for not doing anything about it but I am more angry at the person who started it...and the people that passed it along.

Do people get pleasure from doing that kinda stuff and sending it out to bunches of people? And, why would other people just send it along? Not only is it gross, discusting and disturbing but it's extremely inconsiderate to those who loved and cared about her.

Plus, is there a point for what they write at the end?

" If you don't send this in the next 10 minutes, Ariel will come kill you at night..."

There is no point other than to scare people into sending it forward.

Do I think she is going to come kill me if I don't send it along? Absolutely not. But just seeing that picture frightens the h*ll out of me and I've been extremely shaky and paranoid ever since I saw it (which was 2 days ago)...and I clearly still have the image stuck in my head which is why I haven't been feeling well or eating well.

uhh!!!

Hope you feel better soon though!

[xM3L24x]

Posted: 5/18/06 at 11:06pm

I'm really really sorry. No one should *ever* have to see a picture like that of one of their friends. It upset me, and I didn't even know her. I can't imagine what it's like for you. Please feel better, and eat!

p.s- IM me online. Updated On: 5/18/06 at 11:06 PM

[Billboard Girl]

Posted: 5/18/06 at 11:30pm

And despite it all... I gave her a tip, if only to prove that I have class

Lexi, I know the feeling. I had lunch at a fairly nice restaurant yesterday and endured awful service - the waiter forgot to bring the drink I ordered until after my main course had arrived, managed to spill it all over the table when he finally remembered to bring it, and put the check on the table while I was still eating my dessert. I got the feeling that he was being sloppy and unprofessional like that because I'm young and was by myself and he figured I would probably leave a crappy tip no matter what he did. Yet I still gave him the usual 20% tip I leave when dining out, mainly because I didn't want to validate what he might have assumed.

[Bohemian1232]

Posted: 5/18/06 at 11:36pm

I think that I'm getting sick.

[ElphieDefiesGravity]

Posted: 5/18/06 at 11:45pm

I can not. stop. shaking. My hands are all tingly.

[SweetQintheLights]

Posted: 5/18/06 at 11:49pm

Elphie- I was like that in class. I was getting chills and stuff.

I came home and took my temp and it was 99.4....not really anything but I think it's from stress.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 5/19/06 at 1:53am

I just had THE most emotionally draining conversation of my life.

[SweetQintheLights]

Posted: 5/19/06 at 2:34am

About??

Edit: Why am I still awake?

Updated On: 5/19/06 at 02:34 AM

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 5/19/06 at 2:53am

I'd rather not go into it.

I'm tired, but I don't want to sleep.

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 5/19/06 at 2:53am

I've been home one week total and I'm already ready to kill my mother. I was up all last night because I felt so sick, then spent the entire day curled up on the couch because I couldn't move. My mom came home and managed to yell at me for not loading the dishwasher (I didn't eat anything until 4pm), using up all the ice and not refilling the tray (*after* my sister told her it was my brother), taking the trash out, doing laundry, unpacking, or looking for a job- all in separate arguments. What's even more frustrating is that I told her last night that I wasn't feeling well, but she continued to verbally assault me off and on all night.

Updated On: 5/19/06 at 02:53 AM

[SweetQintheLights]

Posted: 5/19/06 at 2:58am

Awww....Em- I hope you feel better.

"I'm tired, but I don't want to sleep."

The feeling's mutual. Although I'm partly afraid to go to sleep.

I'm actually hungry. I want some marshmallows. I don't have any though.

Updated On: 5/19/06 at 02:58 AM

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 5/19/06 at 3:04am

I'm afraid to, also; what's on my mind is what I'll dream about, and it'll only break my heart.

[Bohemian1232]

Posted: 5/19/06 at 3:08am

I hope that you all feel better.

I really should start going to bed earlier.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 5/19/06 at 3:31am

I can't believe I'm going to go to a job interview tomorrow on 5 hours of sleep.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 5/19/06 at 9:49am

I barely slept, and hence woke up shaking uncontrollably. My shower won't heat up, and it really needs to. *shivers*

[jlc6314]

Posted: 5/19/06 at 11:11am

I just woke up. I don't know why I slept so long!

It's thundering and lightening and it's kind of scary.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 5/19/06 at 12:25pm

I can't have a conversation with my mother without her yelling at me. Now, rather than thinking I'm a total failure, she thinks I'm going to land more than one internship, so she's fighting with me about time constraints; how am I supposed to work two 15-hour internships AND babysit three afternoons a week? I need to make some money, but now she's like "oh, internships are more important!" Plus the fact that I HATE backing out of committments, and she seems to find that okay. So I ask her how she thinks this is supposed to happen, and she just gives me a hard time, no answers, just nasty remarks. There aren't enough goddamned hours in the day for that to work; what am I supposed to do, work in an office in the middle of the night?

I got caught in a thunderstorm before; pouring buckets. It was so peaceful, because nobody was out walking around in that. I don't like thunder and lightning, but there wasn't much of either, so it was kind of beautiful. I sort of wanted to put my umbrella away and just let the rain wash over me, but I was on my way to an interview, so I didn't want to be sopping wet. It was still raining after, so I took a cab home, but all of the traffic made me feel really carsick.

My wrist hurts like a bitch.

Updated On: 5/19/06 at 12:25 PM