Free Speech and Facebook

[Eris0303]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 10:40am

I recently had a row with a friend about this and I thought I'd put it out to the community to see what other people thought.

One of my facebook friends had this habit of posting negative things on my facebook. If I posted a video of someone singing a song she either hated the performer or the song. If I posted an article she hated the article (she was VERY negative over that great Rob Thomas editorial). She'd accuse me of having bad taste in movies, television shows, and books. So, I started deleting the comments that annoyed me. And she, eventually, noticed and accused me of being communist and censoring her free speech. When I explained my feelings to her she said to "take a midol" and that was the end of it.

The way I see it is that a personal and private facebook page is not a free press. I control the content and should someone post something I don't like (especially if it's an insult) I, certainly, have the right to delete the offending comment.

What do ya'll think? Does free speech cover private facebook pages? Are people allowed to say what they want on YOUR page no matter how rude and insulting it is? The internet can be murky territory when it comes to the first amendment. But if a page is private I would think that the owner has the right to control content.

[D2]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 10:44am

Delete her as a friend. Then you won't have to worry about any of it.

[danmag]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 10:45am

I absolutely delete things off my page!!! It always seems like it's that ONE person that always puts something stupid or inappropriate on there. Probably the best solution is to just "unfriend" that person or put the blocker up on them.

I don't think the free speech rules apply...

[Eris0303]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 10:46am

"Delete her as a friend. Then you won't have to worry about any of it."

Oh, I did. Anyone who can't respect my wishes isn't a friend.

But, I thought it could prove to be an interesting topic of conversation for the OT Board

[Unknown User]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 10:58am

It's your page. You have NO obligation to anyone but yourself.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 11:01am

1000 years from now when we are all dust, what happened on social networking sites won't even matter.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 11:01am

Yeah, agreed. I delete stuff all the time from mine.

[singtopher]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 11:04am

Your facebook page is not a public forum.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 11:38am

I routinely delete critical comments from the YouTubes I post. I spend a certain amount of time ripping or editing or converting them and I usually do it only because they aren't available elsewhere online.

Obviously I do it only with clips I happen to love--like my original-cast Follies footage or Tony clips that otherwise unavailable, like my Drood and Dorothy Loudon numbers--and I really enjoy seeing the comments from people who appreciate them.

YouTube has a setting so that the poster can approve all comments to the thread. I use it freely and my clips are ONLY followed by enthusiastic comments. I routine delete negative or catty or snarky comments--and I always send a private note to the negative commenter saying why I deleted his or her comment.

That usually elicits an avalanche of nastiness similar to what your "friend" said to you. I've been called "control freak" and "fascist" and "pathetic"--and that was just from someone called JoeKv99!

Ultimately, it's their problem, not yours. You can't delete those kind of people from LIFE, you can delete them from your online life. Why not take advantage of it?

Updated On: 6/5/09 at 11:38 AM

[Marianne2]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 11:51am

I agree that it is your page, so you should delete whatever you want. I certainly would not want all the negativity from someone cluttering it up.

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 11:55am

My mother, many of her friends and at least 6 ministers are on my friends list. I am OFTEN having to censor friends. When papa or Jaily comment, I run to check as fast as I can!

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 12:08pm

"It always seems like it's that ONE person that always puts something stupid or inappropriate on there."

Yea?! So? AND?!



Anyway, yes, you should delete whatever you think is inappropriate. Dan can tell you I have some friends that have their own view on things, and they are outspoken, but I've had to delete some of their comments because I thought they were inappropriate.

Don't lose moments sleep over it. Who needs that kind of negativity in their life? Besides DanMag.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 12:12pm

i would comment, but i now have to go talk about jg2's bodacious tata's on her fb page.

anybody who knows me knows how i am. if they accept me as a friend or add me as a freind they know what they are getting into. that said, i do try to be mildly less obnoxious to people who i am not personal friends with. even so i have been unfriended (twice that i know of, but since fb doesn't notify you when you get unfriended it could be many more) for comments i made and once threatened with bodily harm.

so, i could give a flying fig if a comment of mine gets deleted. i wouldn't delete anything short of a personal attack on my wife or baby, but that's just me. it's just facebook. if someone constantly annoys you, unfriend them. jg2 ponders daily whether or not to unfriend me.

in the end it's just freakin' facebook.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 12:18pm

I enjoy your posts, Papi.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 12:19pm

as i do yours, diva (and so does my family!).

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 12:26pm

Awww, I don't have papa friended on facebook? *sniffle*

I get that way about one poster but I am to the point of not caring anymore.

[Q]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 12:27pm

I'm curious how someone like that gets added as a 'friend' in the first place.

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 12:30pm

Q (I can't get used to saying that. lol) - People don't start off that way. But, their bitchiness starts shining through eventually.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 12:31pm

Indeed Q. Be vigilant approving your friend requests.

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 12:37pm

If you posted and tagged a horrible and embarassing picture of her, would she untag it so her friends couldn't see? Or is it only evil commie propaganda when SHE is censored? I suggest you test this out.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 12:38pm

I had to delete JoeKv99--his postings were becoming really abusive--it was like he was stalking me!

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 12:39pm

my problem is judging how far i can go with innuendoes with people i have not spoken to in years. i generally try to err on the side of caution with married women. especially those i knew in the biblical sense back in the day. and crazy chicks i slept with years ago then accepted as friends in the foolish belief that the years had mellowed their demons. and lesbians generally. but everyone else is fair game.

some of my friends from school and childhood don't quite understand some of my more current friends. which i enjoy immensely.

[Marianne2]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 12:42pm

I've actually stopped caring about what most people see. I am talking about those who knew me at church or adults from my life when I was younger. Obviously, I don't post whatever because I can, but I'm not going to completely censor my profile for these people. You just have to be respectful with communicating with them, if it is a concern.

[Eris0303]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 12:45pm

Well, when it comes to this particular person we actually used to be very good friends. She wasn't always like this and it makes me sad to see what life has done to her.

I first noticed the change two years ago. I was going through a pretty good period in my life. I was opening a new door and having a lot of great experiences. I'd go to her and share my excitement because, in my opinion, that's what friends do. Well, my happiness was not received well at all. She'd tell me that it wasn't going to last, that I wasn't pretty, that I don't dress nicely, that I was selfish, and even to say that I was psychotic and didn't deserve friends. Well, I cut off all contact with her and she never tried to contact me.

Then this past fall she came to me to ask for my forgiveness. It turns out at the time of my great fortune she was dealing with the fact that she had been brutally attacked and raped in the parking lot of her work. She never told anyone - not even the police. She took her grief to a dark place and her treatment of me was a direct result. Could I trust her the way I once did? I didn't think so. Should I give her a second chance in light of this new information? Maybe I shouldn't have but I told her I would allow her on facebook as a trial but if it started again she'd be gone. And she agreed to that.

Then, in November her father died and a few months later the behavior started again. Knowing that this was coming from her grief I let this pass. It wasn't as bad as it was previously. The worst it got was to suggest I have bad taste which, in my opinion, isn't really an insult. Having lost my own father at a young age I understood what she was going through. So I tried to let things slide. But, in my mind, she was on thin ice. I would let things go to a certain degree and, earlier this week, she reached that degree by alledging that I'm a communist.

And that brings us to where we are today. Over the last two weeks I've had a pretty massive purge of my facebook and deleted all of the negative people who don't support me.

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 6/5/09 at 12:46pm

Now, is this a friend on Facebook or a "Facebook friend"? Either way, she sounds kinda shrill.