Friday Evening Chuckle

[Jacques_Clouseau]

Posted: 1/28/05 at 3:53pm

In homage to Mr. Boobs, I present this Friday evening chuckle.

THE CARDIOLOGIST'S FUNERAL:

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.

Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.

The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral... I'm a gynecologist."

That's when the proctologist fainted.

[centerstage]

Posted: 1/28/05 at 4:02pm

aww thank you that was funny indeed and it made me laugh after an absolutly AWFUL day! you cannot know how grateful i am, i hate being depressed

[BroadwayDiva]

Posted: 1/28/05 at 4:09pm

Thanks!! That was VERY funny!

[Jacques_Clouseau]

Posted: 1/28/05 at 4:15pm

Aw, glad I could help.
Here's one more.

THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY:

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!


Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me


Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"


Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.


How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?


I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you .
I've changed my mind.


I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.


As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.!


Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.


Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)


Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!


When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.


We have been friends for a very long time.
let's say we stop?!


I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.


So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.

[TheaterGeek91]

Posted: 1/28/05 at 4:31pm

Got any more?