Get Off My Couch...

[robbiej]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 4:34pm

cause I ain't your therapist.

I'm not an unfeeling person...really.

I'm just a little distrubed by the group therapy/healing circle direction this board has taken as of late.

I think it's wonderful that people are connecting here. Truly. It's a fun place to meet people with a passion for theatre. But as many of these threads have pointed out, we are not 'like-minded' people. Our interests (save for one), political leanings and religious upbringings are as varied as in the general population.

So...I say this with all the love in my heart...see a therapist. If you have issues with your sexuality, family dysfunction, alcohol or nodules...SEE A PROFESSIONAL. We may all have our own brands of advice and techniques for coping, but nothing beats face-to-face interaction with someone acutely attuned to specific issues.

Therapy is not a dirty thing. And it's infinitely healthier than taking advice from people you really and truly don't know. Those of us who have met in person know first-hand that we don't always present ourselves here as we do in life.

[Mary_Ethel]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 4:38pm

robbiej,

While I may not have posted quite as strongly as you did, I do agree whole-heartedly with the thrust of your comments.

As a matter of fact, a fellow BWW member and I were discussing this new direction the Off-Topic Board has taken this afternoon.

Please listen to robbie, folks. "Therapy" from well-meaning but unprofessional, unlicensed individuals has the capacity to cause more harm than good.

[jacobtsf]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 4:38pm

I actually like the feeling of a safe place to talk and get honest answers. Don't be part of it if you don't want to be.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 4:39pm

Robbie - while I completely understand your point, I think it may be that very anonymity that gives people the courage to discuss some of the things they do around here. And as long as someone brings up a topic that some of us can comment on, I don't see the harm. Of course, if someone were to take these posts as something other than what they are - just the words and thoughts of strangers - then there is a problem. But again, that's up to the individual to decide.

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 4:42pm

Robbie, darling, the only reason I'd get off your couch is so we could make out on the floor!

But you do have a point. People take this board much too seriously. I know there are people out there that may not have healthy family lives or lots of friends, but a message board is no substitute for a living breathing person. There are plenty of free, non-judgmental and totally confidential options for therapy in every town. If you really need help, you won't find it here. Maybe a bandaid solution and a feeling of not being alone, but not true lasting help.

[Gothampc]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 4:42pm

It all begins with you. You are the author of your own reality. If you feel you are providing therapy for other people, then that tells you something about you, not about us.

[robbiej]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 4:42pm

Well that's the thing, Dgrant.

I'm pretty sure there ARE people who don't put our thoughts and words in its proper context. And so I'm just nudging others to consider that if there is an issue, there's no reason not to talk about it. But we can never replace real, honest-to-God theraputic work that is necessary.

Frankly, I'm not as worried about the emotional stuff as I am about the whole 'Can you give me advice about how to sing' that happens here all the time. For the love of St. Pete people, GET A VOICE TEACHER!

Updated On: 11/23/04 at 04:42 PM

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 4:46pm

i actually like the feeling of a safe place to talk and get honest answers.

see i think what he means here jacob, is that you really have no idea who the person at the other end of the keyboard is or what particular motivation they might have for offering any specific advice. and you don't effin' know.

the fact that a certain familiarity develops among posters is a wonderful thing, but it doesn't imbue degrees in psychiatry upon them. and the fact that you really don't know why those you love offer certain advice sometimes should make you think twice about taking the advice of someone who you know only through characters on a monitor.

[jacobtsf]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 4:52pm

I believe that the people who are in a tough situation at home and come here to discuss it are not being stupid but brave. And I will talk honestly to them. I know how tough life can be, and I will help others as much as I can. There will always be someone who will poke fun at it, but those are the people you don't listen too. I consider many people here to be very intelligent... but I do not treat them on the same level as a shrink. They are just trying to help.

on The questions about singing-This is a BROADWAY website with people who want to make it in acting...I think of all questions these would be the most accepted.

[robbiej]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 4:54pm

Speak it, papa.

What makes me particularly nervous is the fact that anyone can be reading these threads, create an identity (or a second identity...it's not THAT hard) and use personal information of someone going through something in order to exploit them.

[etoile]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 4:54pm

Bless your heart, you cold blooded bitch. Love you and you know I mean it.

[robbiej]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 4:59pm

jacob,

The point is not if someone pokes fun at someone else, it's the vulnerable people can be taken advantage of on a site like this. Yes...I consider most people to be intelligent and well-meaning. But those are the folks we see posting here every day. I don't doubt that there are many more people who have registered on this site who do not become a part of this family, but who still have access to folks' info. That's the part that concerns me.

And as for giving singing advice, NO. Asking what to sing is one thing. Asking how to sing is another. It's not something you can teach over a message board.

And etoile, I love your cold little heart too!!!

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 5:00pm

exactly, wobbie. it may sound like the old days of the scare stories our parents (or maybe just my parents) did about drugs, but this is an infinitely more dangerous situation as far as i'm concerned. there's a lotta sick f***s out there and we have more than a few in here. the potential for manipulation is gigantic.

it's foolish to think it can't happen or won't happen here.

if need help, talk to someone. like sueleen said, "a message board is no substitute for a living breathing person." especially one trained to help you.

[nobizlikeshobiz]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 5:31pm

I just want you all to know that I got screwed up because of members of BWW and that I have now started real therapy and the shrink said never to go back online again. Think about what you've done.














I hope you're all happy now.

[nobizlikeshobiz]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 5:48pm

ok, just so you know, that post was a dare, you know from the truth or dare thread. I was just kidding!

[Mary_Ethel]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 6:07pm

dgrant and all,

There are professionals individuals can turn to when they have issues that they feel need attention.

Every major city has toll-free Telephone Counseling Centers staffed by trained professionals where anonyminity is in fact encouraged.

You can discuss your problem, get some insight and referrals, all the time without giving your real name.

I think that is a much more healthier and productive way to attack whatever life throws at you without turning to the dubious resources of a Theater Message Board.

[nobizlikeshobiz]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 6:08pm

did you guys believe me? ha...

[The Grovers Corners Yenta]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 6:12pm

There is the support you get only from a therapist. It is like going to school and learning about yourself. But I think in here it is much different. Support in here comes from the heart......human beings reaching out to each other in here.
In fact, I think if people look for that type of support in here, I would regard them as a healthy individual. Funny, I am in therapy and will quite often talk to my therapist about the support I get from folks in here.

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 7:29pm

I think the point that people are trying to make is that when you post here, you are not talking to a circle of friends. There are god-knows-how-many people lurking here and reading the threads. The small community aspect of this place is an illusion.

I have no problem with people talking openly about things, but to post too much personal info on a message board is insane. My mind reels when I see people posting things about their kids or their partners, and even calling them by name sometimes. The vast majority of people here are good people... but the fact that there are quite likely a handful of wackos, you really want to exercise caution with how much information you share.

I have been able to piece together astounding amounts of information about people just by paying attention, and by following links in their profiles. And really, if I can do it with my minimal computer skills and an hour to kill, just imagine what someone with malicious intent could do.

The other component of this discussion is knowing who is handing out advice. I have seen some jaw-droppingly bad advice handed out to people who were looking for advice on some serious problems. For all you know, you are being given relationship advice or opinion about the validity of various college programs by people still in middle school.

This is just a plea to exercise caution as to how much information you share.

[Plum]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 8:05pm

It's one thing to try and get some problems off your chest by talking abouthem online- but if you have a real psychological problem, this isn't the place to get help. So...have a bad day? Feel free to kvetch. Having suicidal thoughts? Or an eating disorder, to bring up a misbegotten thread from the past? Find professional help. And anyone who's really concerned will tell you the same thing.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 11/23/04 at 10:29pm

The telephone is ringing
I say, "Hi, it's me. Who is it there on the line?"
A voice says, "Hi, hello, how are you
Well, I guess I'm doin' fine"
He says, "It's three a.m., there's too much noise
Don't you people ever wanna go to bed?
Just 'cause you feel so good, do you have
To drive me out of my head?"

I said, Hey! You! Get off of my [couch]
Hey! You! Get off of my [couch]
Hey! You! Get off of my [couch]
Don't hang around 'cause two's a [grouch]
On my [couch] baby