Homecoming: Absolutely Pointless

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 12:57am

People have been bugging me lately about my decision not to go to homecoming.

Their defenses: "It's your senior year!"
"Come on! It's your senior year!"
"Senior year is supposed to be fun!"

My defenses: The fact that I cannot get a date at ALL.
End. Of. Discussion.
The fact that it is absolutely pointless (Like seniors will return from last year for a stupid football game and dance)
My absolute hatred of dances

Anyone agree with me here?

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 12:59am

Do you have any friends that are going?

[StickToPriest]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 12:59am

Homecoming: Absolutely Fabulous.

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 1:01am

No friends are going.

There is a party on the night of the dance that is much much more promising and I would rather go to that because it is for a friend's birthday.

I'm still debating whether or not to do prom.

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 1:02am

Do you have any friends?

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 1:02am

pft, I went once. Enough for me!

I did, however go to prom. I thought about not going, and then realized I'd probably regret it. I didn't love it, but it was a nice time with my friends.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 1:07am

"Ugh! Chest hair!" - Raul Esparza <--- God, what a fag.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 1:09am

ha.

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 1:09am

Namo - did you have a prom date?

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 1:10am

Absolutely, having friends is good, as is socializing!

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 1:16am

I recall those events as fun times with people that
remain friends 20 years later!

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 1:19am

The only friends I have are you guys. Really.

Why else do I start so many topics?

I mean...I have a bit of a problem and I need some help with it.

The problem that I am having is that I can’t get girls to like me. This may sound funny to some of you but it is a really big problem for me. The last time a girl kissed me was back in 1991 when I was in the third grade. So it has been 13 long years since a girl has kissed me and I am getting very fed up. I feel that I am about to explode. I am open to any and all ideas on how to get girls to like me. Please keep your points serious and I don’t want any bull**** posts because I am dead serious about this discussion. Thanks for your time and please try to help me out on this issue.

[boytobroadway]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 1:22am

I didn't go. I don't know anyone at my school. I hate being freshman. I also hate not knowing any of the gays there. I FEEL SO ALONE!!!

*sigh*
B2B

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 1:23am

Seriously, this is a totally worthwhile thing to discuss. But not here in public, with strangers. Find a counselor who can listen to you in a nonjudgmental way. Do it ASAP!

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 1:25am

Yes, Namo. I agree.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 1:28am

And if you feel inclined to list reasons why you can't or won't find an appropriate counselor, I should warn you I will immediately return to my wisecracking self.

[Parks]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 1:29am

I don't plan on going to homecoming this year.

It's so overrated. I got invited to go go-karting instead. Hm...dancing or go-karting? As much as I love dancing, I'll have to pass.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 1:31am

You ARE gay!

[Parks]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 1:36am

Here, Namo, here's a medal for you.

[EvelynNesbit1906]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 1:43am

You might regret not going to Homecoming immediately after it's over, but years after you're done with high school? I doubt it. Believe it or not, there will probably come a time when you can't even remember the names of your "close friends" and some of your "favorite teachers."

I neither went to Homecoming nor Prom my senior year - can't remember if there were causes more specific than that I chose to spend the money going to Vegas - and it's not an issue for me today. I went to college. Graduated. Found jobs. Kept living. And I still talk to and see quite a few of my friends from high school (which wasn't all that long ago, btw; we are approaching our ten-year anniversary of starting).

[MatthewAddison]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 5:30am

I once skipped out on homecoming to go egg and "poo-poo in mailbox" someone's house...but everyone else chickened out. I'm glad they did- because that would have been incredibly stupid and immature.

BACK TO THE POINT:
I did the proms and homecomings. It's really no big deal.

If you feel you have no friends, don't put yourself in a situation where you'll just feel isolated and alienated by your peers. Do stuff that is worth your time. It's really not the end of the world (homecoming and prom). After highschool...everything changes. Social cliques change and fade. People do too.

Are you involved in any activities beyond BWW posting? Do you help out with theatre and stuff? When I started in the theatre, I made a lot of lasting friendships. I also met a lot of backstabbing, self-centered morons. But that's part of living and learning.

As far as not having a girlfriend or anything. You say you feel like you're going to explode. Welcome to puberty. Learn from my mistakes: DON'T wear soft shorts/pants to school during this pivotal time. You will regret that decision for the rest of your life.

[Plum]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 7:47am

I never even got whose homecoming was being celebrated. The football team? Were they away? I never noticed. Then again, the only school events I cut in my first three years of high school were our pathetic excuses for pep rallies. Imagine...oh, I don't know- an unenthusiastic performance of BKLYN, except 4+ hours long. I'm generally a rule-abiding girl, but even I have my limits.

Didn't go to homecoming, didn't go to prom, and absolutely didn't regret it for a second. If you want me to wear high heels for extended periods of time, you'd better give me a really, really good reason.
Updated On: 9/17/05 at 07:47 AM

[JayKid]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 8:42am

Well Homecoming is stupid... prom, I'd go. About the friends or more so, girls, here's my advice.

You sound a lot like my good friend from home, he's always been a bit of a computer nerd and just was awkward with girls and sometimes even shy and basically never kissed or did anything with a girl, well all he's still done is kiss, but anyway. Yea, he didn't do anything until this summer... after senior year,
He still has to improve a bit, but half of his problem is the fact of lack of experience and trying to make up for it to fake being cool or act like this or that sometimes.... anyway, I'll try to help you like I helped him.

First thing, the wanting to explode thing, that has to stop... hard, I know, but basically it will make it harder for anything to happen. When you care a lot and need it and seem desperate for something like this, it isn't an attractive quality. You need to first learn that kissing a girl and girlfriends aren't that fun anyway. Just be relaxed and laid back and don't worry, let things happen when they happen, having this attitude is not only much less stressful, it makes girls more attracted to you... they don't want the desperate guy.

Ok, now you need to be more social and outgoing... these boards won't help you. My friend actually lost his internet and that was something I feel helped him a lot. You had to find things to do so he didn't bore himself and started being more social. Do things you like, say theatre... why not talk to and meet theatre guys and girls and hang out with them? Most of the time they are really nice and open to people, so that's a good place to start. Just branch off any other friends you have too, and hang out with them and friends of theirs, etc... get to know people. Just get more out there and friendly and have a good time, don't worry about girlfriends.

Two things you need to do is change your attitude and be more social, and things will be easier and you'll be more happy.

I realize it's harder said than done to just not care, and I've personally never experienced not going 13 years without kissing someone, but I still understand the feeling and just the feeling of lonliness in general, as we all do. I also was able to really help my friend out too, who is really, or was, in the exact same position as you.

Seriously, the less you care... the better you'll feel and the easier it will be in return, ironic I guess, but true.

I really am not sure what else to say, but GL... feel free to PM me if ya need any other help.

[~FloweryFriend~]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 11:08am

1. HOMECOMING
In high school, I attended one homecoming (senior year), and two proms.
In general, dances are overrated (particularly prom... Why do people make such a big deal about it? ESPECIALLY girls. Some of them treat it like it's their wedding or something. I don't get it.)
But 'overrated' doesn't mean 'pointless'.
I always had fun.
Even when I didn't think I would.
Dances can be fun, but only if you let them.

Speaking from experience, I have to say that going without a date can actually be MORE fun.
I had dates to 2/3, and both of them DITCHED me shortly after getting to the dance (one was in a fight that he felt the need to resolve at the dance. the other had a different primary friend group than I did, and he decided he'd rather hang out with them).
I didn't even care.
It was really nice to just be able to hang out with my friends, dance like dorks, and belt out the words along with "Lady Marmalade".
And I didn't have to do that whole awkward slow-dancing thing very much (well, date #1 made me dance with him at the end of the night. He was gay and is now a musical theatre major, so he was an excellent dancer.)

The point is, you can definitely have fun without a date.
I think you should consider going.
But in the end, you have to do what's right for you.


2. DATING AND KISSING
(I can't believe I'm actually sharing this information on a message board)

Guys were never interested in me in high school.
I don't think I was any more awkward than anyone else was, so I don't have a great explanation for it.
(I think I was a pretty cool high schooler, but whatever... their loss)
When I got to college, I started getting a bit more of a response from guys, but it was mostly when they were either drunk, desperate, taken, or a combination.

The next two statements are going to make you feel better about yourself:
My first kiss was halfway through my freshman year of college.
My first boyfriend is the one I currently have. (our first date was in April, which was the end of our junior year of college).

Yes, there were times in high school when I felt as frustrated as you do now.
But looking back, I like the way things worked out.

I never went through any crappy quasi-relationships in high school like my friends did.
I didn't want to waste my time on guys who I thought might be the equivalents of the jerks that my friends had dated.

I am fully aware of the fact that what I am about to say is very cliched, very hard to believe, and sucks a lot, but you need to hear me out on this:
Things will happen when they're supposed to.
So don't get down.
Don't lose faith.

You sound a lot like the way one of my best guy friends did a couple of years ago, and now SUDDENLY AND OUT OF NO WHERE he has girls following him EVERYWHERE (which is really weird to me, the friend he always called to complain about how he hadn't been kissed in years and girls never liked him).
He even has one girl who keeps driving here from out of state because she wants him so badly.
See?
There's hope.
There's a hell of a lot of hope.
You might just be destined to be an insane ladies' man like my good friend.

I hope that helps.
:)

Hang in there.

[Pinguin]

Posted: 9/17/05 at 11:10am

All that stuff in high school is horribly overrated and ridiculous.


That being said, I wouldn't have known that for sure unless I had gone. So I'm still glad I went. Any excuse to dress up is fun for me, anyway :0)