How To Drive In New Jersey

[bdwaygirl]

Posted: 5/25/07 at 12:26pm

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name; it is New-erk not New-ark.

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on the turnpike is 85 mph. On the parkway it's 105 or 110. Anything less is considered "Wussy."

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Jersey has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second.

However, in Monmouth county, SUV-driving, cellphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Jersey. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubber-neckers, shredded tires, cell-phoners, deer and other road kill, and the homeless feeding on any of these items.

9. Mapquest does not work here -- none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do and all the Turnpike EZpass lanes are moved each night once again to make your ride more exciting.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.

[MotorTink]

Posted: 5/25/07 at 12:28pm

HAHAHHAHA So true, So true!!!!

[worrell4077]

Posted: 5/25/07 at 12:43pm

So true, but there are people in Jersey how have no idea how to drive like the elderly(no offense to anyone who is considered elderly). You're driving in a 50-55mph zone and they go 20mph, but it's not just them. They are actual people who can't drive the way you're supposed to in Jersey. I would be on my way to class and I'm coming up on Woodbridge Avenue, and there would be impatient people who cut into the lane I'm in with barely any space.

[bdwaygirl]

Posted: 5/25/07 at 12:55pm

The ones that really get my goat, are those that drive in the left lane and barely go 35-40 in a 65 zone. I realize it's the "passing" lane, but it's never used for its actual intention. If you're not going to at least do the speed limit, MOVE over!

Updated On: 5/25/07 at 12:55 PM

[ErikJ972]

Posted: 5/25/07 at 2:25pm

Actually New Yorkers are the WORST drivers...
New Yorkers rank as worst

[ikmbway]

Posted: 5/25/07 at 3:02pm

However, in Monmouth county, SUV-driving, cellphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

That is SO right!

[AC126748]

Posted: 5/25/07 at 3:04pm

Even more so in Ocean County...

[lady godiva]

Posted: 5/25/07 at 3:39pm

The Monmouth County thing is so true.

Also, people who do not know the correct way to drive circles should be shot.

[almostxfamous]

Posted: 5/25/07 at 4:11pm

All of this is so true. Wowwwww.

[justthefacts2]

Posted: 5/26/07 at 1:46am

Oh my God, this is so true!! It's the funniest thing I ever read. There's a Jersey style that you don't realize you're used to until you try to drive in some other state. The Jersey style is fast driving in tight spots and making sudden unexpected turns - you just expect it and you do it yourself. My favorite is making my car whip horizontally into an open spot in the endless line of cars trying to get onto 287 off of 80 during morning rush hour. I mean, why would you sit in that line? The weird thing is - everybody does it, everybody expects it - somebody lets you in, you let somebody else in - it's this strange sort of chivalry - so my question is who's sitting in that line backed up to the 202 exit? Must be Pennsylvania drivers.

[Taryn]

Posted: 5/26/07 at 1:51am

Definitely the PA drivers. I've lived in both states. In fact, my best friend visited me in Jersey recently from Pennsylvania and was like, "Pennsylvania drivers would never do things like this."

PA has NJ beat for constant road construction, though. IMO.

Jersey has done...interesting things to my driving, to say the least.