Is That you In Your Avatar?-Tempting 20 — Page 78

I beg your pardon?

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Ha. Ha. Ha.

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*poker face*






*blink*

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Don't quit your night job, scott! Hopefully, this will compensate:

Pat and Mike were walking down the street, when they came to the church, Pat says, "Mike, you wait here, I'm going to run in for confession, it's been a long time."

Pat enters the confessional and says, "Father forgive me, I have sinned with a married woman." The priest asks, "Was it Mrs. Murphy?" "No, Father," was the reply. "Was it Mrs. O'Boyle?" Again the reply was, "No, Father." "Was it Mrs. O'Grady?" Pat said, "Father, I'll not be teling you the lady's name!" So the priest told him to say 2 Hail Mary's for each time he had sinned with the woman.

Back on the street, Mike said, "well, how did you do?" Pat said, "Just fine, I kept my mouth shut and got 3 new prospects!"

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Updated On: 8/4/08 at 10:11 PM

Hey, KC...why?

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deal lord

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Pssh, whatever. You know it's a good one. Even though it doesn't really make any sense.

You can thank me later if you want.

So this blonde (sorry kc) is tired of being called dumb. She goes home and memorizes all the capitals of the states.
At a gathering the next day people are making fun og her for being stupid.
"I'm not dumb, I can recite the capitals of all fifty states" she says.
"ok, what's the capital of Nevada" someone asks her.

She replies:
"N"

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My boss emailed me this link this morning;
BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego , was visiting her in-laws,
and while there she went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some
groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the
windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the
back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned
and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now
open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and
Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had
been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the
doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head.
When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread
dough on the back of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a
loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her
in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it
was, she felt the dough and "thought it was her brains." She initially
passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for
over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

Linda is a blond and a Democrat, but I'm certain that's irrelevant.

I just watched Brokeback Mountain for the first time ever. . . .First I cried for like ever. . .now I just want to slap a straight man.

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Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight...

God I love that song.

I don't know if I remember how to get freaky. . .it's been such a long time.

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Here's my blonde joke contribution:

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb, and one of them calls 911...

Blonde: "We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb."

Operator: "Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?"

Blonde: "Yes."

Operator: "The power in the house in on?"

Blonde: "Of course."

Operator: "And the switch is on?"

Blonde: "Yes, yes."

Operator: "And the bulb still won't light up?"

Blonde: "No, it's working fine."

Operator: "Then what's the problem?"

Blonde: "We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves."

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