You are his official *SCRATCHER*. There is NOTHING in your contract about being his fluffer, licker, sucker, kisser, groper, feeler, jacker, rubber, poker, or otherwise general manipulator.
*triumphant grin*
Suzanne: I never use catalogs. I'd rather go in the store and see all the salespeople groveling and sucking up to you.
Julia: Pardon me, I never knew they were so solicitous at the K-Mart.